I wrote this article when I was turning 50. I remember so clearly that despite the anxiety and fear of being in my 50s, getting old, etc., there was something really positive happening to me. I had been dating my now spouse for about 6 months and realized that love over 50 was amazing!
My article on: Love over 50
With all the physical drawbacks of the big 5-0 – impaired vision and hearing, varicose veins, wrinkles, a metabolism that comes to a halt and hot flashes, to name a few – comes a certain wisdom. Like a magical gift from above, 50 feels smarter, with a presence of self-assurance, peace, grace, higher standards, and understanding, especially when it comes to love.
Here are 50 things I’ve learned about love in my 50 years:
1. Happiness in your love life starts with being happy with yourself.
2. If he stops your heart, don’t be scared. Embrace it.
3. You will never, ever change him. Ever.
4. Stop beating yourself up for the one who got away.
5. If you think he might be cheating, he is.
6. Men love to feel loved. Not smothered, though.
7. Every woman should have a cougar relationship in her life.
8. A guy who doesn’t want to meet your friends doesn’t love you. And, he doesn’t deserve you.
9. Know the difference between love and sex. They are very different.
10. Older men are better in bed than younger men.
11. Your kids are watching the way you love (or don’t love) your spouse. They will love (or not love) the same way.
12. If your gut says it isn’t right, listen to it.
13. Qualities in a great boyfriend are different from qualities in a great husband.
14. If you are trying to figure out if he’s into you, he isn’t.
15. A man who doesn’t acknowledge Valentine’s Day is selfish and kind of stupid.
16. Real love means being there for illness and financial down times.
17. If your girlfriend doesn’t like the guy you’re dating, her gut instinct is almost always right.
18. If he cheats, it is NOT your fault.
19. When considering marrying someone, look at the family. You are essentially marrying them.
20. Men see women 10 pounds lighter than women see themselves. So guess what? You just lost 10 pounds!
21. If you break up and get back together with someone more than once, your relationship probably isn’t going to work out.
22. He either likes you the way you are or he doesn’t. And if he doesn’t, that’s perfectly OK. His loss.
23. Don’t worry so much about meeting “the one.” Instead, savor and be grateful for the intensity and excitement of dating.
24. Divorced people can never imagine falling in love again and countless do.
25. Platonic friends of the opposite sex are gifts because they help us understand so many things.
26. A woman’s decision to leave her husband could lead you to meeting the love of your life.
27. Playing the victim in a divorce will prevent you from ever moving on and being happy.
28. If you love who you are, (not conceited, but rather confident) you are so attractive to others.
29. You never forget the smell of a man’s skin if you truly love him.
30. A couple who prays together stays together.
31. There is nothing sexier than making love with a man who you know in your heart truly loves and cares about your kids.
32. If you end up having sex with a close friend (a “When Harry Met Sally” kind of thing) be prepared to lose the friendship if it doesn’t work out.
33. A friend who ends up dating a man she knows you have an interest in isn’t really a friend.
34. It’s never too late to call an old boyfriend and apologize for the way you treated him. Even if it’s 25 years later.
35. The best part of having out-of-the ballpark sex with someone is keeping it completely to yourself.
36. Never say no to a blind date.
37. Relationships without honest communication suffer greatly.
38. Trust and loyalty are must-haves in the search for Mr. Right.
39. Hiring a cleaning person will completely help your relationship if you just moved in together.
40. Resentment is the root of all causes of divorce and breakups.
41. Instead of fighting about it, see if it’s possible to laugh about it.
42. Sex doesn’t solve problems, but it is a great way to reconnect during challenging times.
43. If you don’t respect him, the relationship has almost no chance of working.
44. It’s never too late to call off the wedding, even if the invites are already in the mail.
45. Dry spells always end. Don’t lose hope.
46. Everyone is perfect for the first three months of a relationship. Know going into it that the shoe will drop at some point, but not necessarily in a bad way. Just a realistic way.
47. Men are attracted to women who are truly passionate about what they do.
48. A relationship only gets boring if you let it and/or take the person for granted.
49. Details are so important, especially when it comes to gift giving. If you take the time to really listen to your spouse, you’ll have such an easier time knowing what to get him or her for their birthday.
50. Nice gestures send me over the edge. For example, a guy offering to go pick up your car because you are busy working. Or offering to pick up your dry cleaning. This man is truly committed.
I would really like to subscribe to your blog over 50 and divorced smiling …can you tell me how? thanks
I will add you. We are having technical issues.
Love over 50 (well, I’m 46, he’s 51) is awesome. It is so liberating to be myself, share my inner-most fears and fits of laughter – somewhat of a new experience for me in a relationship. With age comes the maturity to be real, drop the inhibitions and have the most stunning friendship with a new love. And sorry to say, but I just HAVE to say, the sex is awesome!!
Jackie….I loved your article “Love over 50: Love never felt so good.” I’m just iver 50, and I’m getting ready to go through a divorce, and am dreading the prospect of starting all over again. Its nice to read about others going through the same thing. Thank you. Would add me to your maling list?
thanks so much for the kind words! I promise, love over 50 is better than ever. to subscribe to Divorced Girl Smiling, go to the homepage and put your email in the subscribe button! Also, like the Divorced Girl Smiling facebook page and you will get the posts that way. thanks again and best wishes!!