Your Daily Prayer For Divorce: Trust Me, It Helps!

prayer for divorce

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

Is there a daily prayer for divorce? I have no idea about a specific prayer JUST for divorce, but I do know a well-known prayer that I think would do the job. Let me explain.

People going through a divorce are stressed. Very stressed. Every day there’s a new problem, a different issue, something unexpected that pops up–an attorney statement, a call from your attorney with news you didn’t want to hear, your ex pulling something really mean, your kids acting out… Doesn’t it seem like the hits keep coming? Sure it does.But, I’m here to tell you that all of these things are uncontrollables.

What can you control? Many, many things, which include: the way you handle things, the life you’re trying to build, and thing you can do to calm yourself and see things in a positive way. I believe that begins with prayer, more specifically, your daily prayer for divorce, which is a prayer you might have heard of: the serenity prayer.

The serenity prayer is recited in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.  But, you don’t have to be an alcoholic to for this prayer to be applicable to you and your divorce.

Here is the serenity prayer, a prayer that I think divorced people should say daily:

 

God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time

Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Taking as He did, this sinful world as it is

Not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make all thing right if I surrender to his will,

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with Him forever in the next

 

This prayer for divorce offers relief and peace, in my opinion. Reading it takes a huge burden off someone to let go of the uncontrollables, to have faith that God is with you, that and to be inspired to live the best life you can, during and after your divorce. It helps to let go of negativity, toxic thoughts and the past, and instead focus on what you can control: being happy in the most basic sense.

 

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The Serenity Prayer was written by the American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr. No one really knows when he wrote it, but it was printed in a few newspaper articles in the 1930’s. In 1941, an early member of Alcoholics Anonymous brought it to a meeting. Well liked, the organization adopted the prayer and it is now part of AA and other 12-step programs.

 

I honestly think the serenity prayer should be read by women and men as a daily prayer for divorce.

Why? Because one of the most difficult aspects of divorce is acceptance—lack of control over what happened, lack of control of the other person, lack of control of the circumstances and lack of control of the past.

 

Think of all the men and women who are left by their spouses for another person. Think of all the men and women who get divorced because of addiction issues. Think of all the men and women who get divorced because of physical and/or mental abuse. These are all things WE CANNOT CONTROL, yet people refuse to accept that for a long time, and sadly, sometimes forever. And when someone can’t/won’t accept, they cannot find peace and move on in life.

 

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On the contrary, when someone gets divorced, he or she has the ability to change certain things, to build a new life, to reinvent themselves. It’s not easy. It takes courage, strength, determination and of course, patience, but it is in a person’s control (to an extent.)

 

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Living one day at a time, enjoying one day at a time…

 

Alcoholics in recovery try to live each day being happy and enjoying life without drinking. Newly separated men and women would find more happiness and peace if they lived each day enjoying little things and not “drinking” bitterness, anger, and resentment for an ex or for the past.

 

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

 

Like an alcoholic must accept he or she cannot drink in order to find peace, a divorced person must accept the end of the marriage, the fact that what happened happened, and that the path to happiness down the road is long, difficult and takes immense strength and courage.

 

I’m not saying a person is never allowed to vent about their divorce. But if you complain over and over again about the same things—my husband (or wife) left me, he/she is so happy with his new wife/husband, she’s pregnant, I’m alone and he/she is happy, there’s no justice, I’m poor and he/she just bought a new Porsche, etc. etc. it won’t change anything. The only thing it will do is aggravate and depress you.

 

ACCEPTANCE is key in moving on and finding true happiness from within.

 

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My recommendation is to read the serenity prayer every single day. Keep it by your desk or by your bed. When things seem dreary, it is so much better, more productive and more fulfilling to grab that little piece of paper and read it than to reach for a Xanex or a glass of wine, or call your girlfriends or family and start complaining to them.

 

Serenity is the state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled. The more we are in that state, the happier and richer our lives will be. And isn’t happiness and a meaningful life something every divorced person strives for?

 

Like this article? Check out, “20 Things I Wish I Could Have Told My Newly Separated Self”

 

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Jackie Pilossoph

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

9 Responses to “Your Daily Prayer For Divorce: Trust Me, It Helps!”

  1. Heather B

    I stumbled on your Facebook post and this hit home. My husband has recently asked me for a divorce – leaving me for the affair with a “girl” 17 years younger than him. I don’t want to be a victim anymore and have just spend the last hour pouring over your site and am sooooo glad to have found this – to help me make 2016 a year for me! Not to wallow in would have’s, should have’s and could have’s – because I won’t, shouldn’t and can’t! I already printed this prayer out and it’s on my bathroom mirror! Thank you so much!

    Reply
    • Jackie Pilossoph

      I’m so happy for you! You deserve to be happy and playing the victim will never get you there. Best wishes to you for a happy, healthy holiday and a GREAT 2016!! xo

      Reply
  2. Andrea P

    I have printed the prayer, right now I just cant seem to think of anything positive. I can’t believe this is happening to me, I feel so lost and overwhelmed, my kids are going to go through so much.

    Reply
  3. susan

    I had the Serenity prayer on my desk all through my divorce It was my mantra and it settled me down when things got hairy. It’s my go-to and now has become my daughters’. So glad to see it’s helped others going through rough situations!

    Reply
  4. Dor

    Interesting Associating the AA prayer to divorce
    AA meetings are great if u r a true alcoholic not a social drinker
    They heavily use god in their meetings by ending with that prayer and holding hands
    It is a cult like following
    Members rely on others members with exchange of numbers
    That is a good thing
    Wish there were more divorce support groups snd ones that u could offer ideas and exchange thoughts , not just listen to what happened in their divorce

    Reply

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