Looking for a prayer for divorce? There is a well-known prayer I think you will find comforting and inspiring, and I think it can be useful for divorce. Let me explain…
People going through a divorce are stressed. Very stressed. Every day there’s a new problem, a different issue, something unexpected that pops up–an attorney statement, a call from your attorney with news you didn’t want to hear, your ex acting really mean, your kids acting out… It can sometimes seem like the hits keep coming. All of these things are uncontrollables.
What can you control? Many, many things, which include: the way you handle the hits that keep coming, the life you’re trying to build, and what you can do to calm yourself and see things in a positive way. I believe that begins with prayer, more specifically, a prayer for divorce.
There is a prayer I think you will find extremely comforting and you might have heard of: the serenity prayer.
The serenity prayer is recited in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings. But, you don’t have to be an alcoholic to for this prayer to be applicable to you and your divorce.
Here is a prayer for divorce/ the serenity prayer; a prayer I think people going through a divorce might want to say daily:
God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking as He did, this sinful world as it is
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all thing right if I surrender to his will,
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next
This prayer for divorce offers relief and peace, in my opinion. Reading it takes a huge burden off someone to let go of the uncontrollables, to have faith that God is with you, and to be inspired to live the best life you can, during and after your divorce. It helps to let go of negativity, toxic thoughts and the past, and instead focus on what you can control: YOU. The decisions you make, the way you live your life, and how happy you are.
The Serenity Prayer was written by the American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr. No one really knows when he wrote it, but it was printed in a few newspaper articles in the 1930’s. In 1941, an early member of Alcoholics Anonymous brought it to a meeting. Well liked, the organization adopted the prayer and it is now part of AA and other 12-step programs.
I honestly think the serenity prayer should be read by women and men as a daily prayer for divorce.
Why? Because one of the most difficult aspects of divorce is acceptance—accepting what happened, accepting that you have and still have no control over what your ex does or how he/she acts or what he/she says.
Think of all the men and women who are left by their spouses for another person. Think of all the men and women who get divorced because of addiction issues. Think of all the men and women who get divorced because of physical and/or mental abuse. These are all things WE CANNOT CONTROL, yet some people refuse to accept that for a long time, and sadly, sometimes forever. And when someone can’t/won’t accept, they cannot find peace and move on in life.
On the contrary, when someone gets divorced, he or she has the ability to change certain things, to build a new life, to reinvent themselves. It’s not easy. It takes courage, strength, determination and of course, patience, but it is in a person’s control (to an extent.)
Living one day at a time, enjoying one day at a time…
Alcoholics in recovery try to live each day being happy and enjoying life without drinking. Newly separated men and women would find more happiness and peace if they lived each day enjoying little things and not “drinking” bitterness, anger, and resentment for an ex or for the past.
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
Like an alcoholic must accept he or she cannot drink in order to find peace, a divorced person must accept the end of the marriage, the fact that what happened happened, and that the path to happiness down the road is long, difficult and takes immense strength and courage. But, the pathway can be wonderful, and includes moments of empowerment and even joy.
I’m not saying a person is never allowed to vent about their divorce. But if you complain over and over again about the same things—my husband (or wife) left me, he/she is so happy with his new wife/husband, she’s pregnant, I’m alone and he/she is happy, there’s no justice, I’m poor and he/she just bought a new Porsche, etc. etc. it won’t change anything. The only thing it will do is aggravate and depress you.
ACCEPTANCE is key in moving on and finding true happiness from within. I’m not saying you should “accept” that things will always be this way–that he/she is blissful in a new relationship and has money and you are alone and stressed about finances. But rather, accept what the situation is today, realize it won’t be this way forever, and work on yourself and your life to craft it the way you want it to be.
My recommendation is to read the serenity prayer every single day. Keep it by your desk or by your bed. When things seem dreary, it is so much better, more productive and more fulfilling to grab that little piece of paper and read it than to reach for a Xanex or a glass of wine, or call your girlfriends or family and start complaining to them.
Serenity is the state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled. The more we are in that state, the happier and richer our lives will be, and the healthier we will be, both emotionally and physically. And isn’t happiness and a meaningful life something every divorced person strives for?
Like this article? Check out, “20 Things I Wish I Could Have Told My Newly Separated Self”
Thank you. I still love reading your blog and still find it a great help.
Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. And, happy holidays!!
I stumbled on your Facebook post and this hit home. My husband has recently asked me for a divorce – leaving me for the affair with a “girl” 17 years younger than him. I don’t want to be a victim anymore and have just spend the last hour pouring over your site and am sooooo glad to have found this – to help me make 2016 a year for me! Not to wallow in would have’s, should have’s and could have’s – because I won’t, shouldn’t and can’t! I already printed this prayer out and it’s on my bathroom mirror! Thank you so much!
I’m so happy for you! You deserve to be happy and playing the victim will never get you there. Best wishes to you for a happy, healthy holiday and a GREAT 2016!! xo
I have printed the prayer, right now I just cant seem to think of anything positive. I can’t believe this is happening to me, I feel so lost and overwhelmed, my kids are going to go through so much.
I had the Serenity prayer on my desk all through my divorce It was my mantra and it settled me down when things got hairy. It’s my go-to and now has become my daughters’. So glad to see it’s helped others going through rough situations!
Very smart!! Best wishes to you.
Wow. Good post.
Interesting Associating the AA prayer to divorce
AA meetings are great if u r a true alcoholic not a social drinker
They heavily use god in their meetings by ending with that prayer and holding hands
It is a cult like following
Members rely on others members with exchange of numbers
That is a good thing
Wish there were more divorce support groups snd ones that u could offer ideas and exchange thoughts , not just listen to what happened in their divorce
Life isn’t fair
Some things are beyond your control