Tips and advice for men and women who have recently split up from a spouse and are now getting divorced.
A woman going through a divorce sent this email to me: I was so excited that my soon-to-be-ex finally emailed me and said that he agreed to accept my settlement offer. We finally had a divorce settlement agreement! But the next day he emailed me back and said he changed his mind. He DIDN’T agree. Can … Read more
Mortgage rates have steadily risen over the last few weeks, leading many potential homebuyers to pause their home search. And if you’re getting divorced and planning to move, this might feel frustrating and stressful. Is it a good time to buy a house, despite rising rates? While it is understandable to be concerned about higher … Read more
People going through a divorce do stupid things. It’s not a cut down and I’m not trying to be hurtful, it’s just reality. Trust me, when I was newly separated, I did more stupid things than anyone I know. Why the stupid things? Because going through a divorce is extremely difficult. It’s an emotional, stressful, … Read more
Grieving a divorce means different things to different people. Everyone’s personal journey with grief is unique. Recently I was digging through a box of photos looking for memories to share at a friend’s funeral. I found photos of myself and my ex over a 40-year span-birthdays, holidays, camping trips, sabbatical photos, and my kids’ musical … Read more
I seriously want to hug the woman who sent me the e-mail below! Like almost every newly separated person, she is fearful of the unknown, sad, in a way, and lonely. But, she ends her e-mail with, “I am working on myself.” Wow. This is the best thing she can say and do right now. … Read more
At the beginning of a breakup and through a divorce, it’s very hard to imagine being friends with your ex. In fact, the relationship usually gets a lot worse (which is unimaginable) when two people go from being in a bad marriage and living together to separating and filing for divorce. In many cases, … Read more
Every divorce situation is unique. From growing apart to cheating to addiction to finances to falling in love with someone else to when a spouse leaves the marital home, there are countless reasons couples split up. What is usually the same in every divorce, however, is anger, bitterness, resentment and other negative feelings on one … Read more
Many of the parents we work with have no structured college savings plans set up for their children. After a divorce, the chances of setting up a 529 plan is even less likely because when people divorce, there are so many complex issues to discuss and agree to, and college planning during divorce takes a … Read more
We all have different values, fundamentals, and standards. That’s why there is no one single definition of inappropriate co-parenting. Inappropriate co-parenting means different things to different people. If you wish to co-parent the best way you can, then my advice is to always ask yourself the question “Is this behavior in the best interest of … Read more
Can you imagine how difficult it would be confronting a cheater? “Um, honey…(in that walking on eggshell tone), can I talk to you?” I’ve done it and let me tell you, it’s brutal. It makes me angry to think that the person confronting the cheater has to stress and worry about it, when it’s the … Read more
Have you ever done a kickboxing class? I’d highly recommend it as a tool for coping with divorce. When I was getting divorced several years ago, punching air or punching a bag really did it for me. It helped me get out all my anger, frustration, and even sadness. Punching made me feel strong and … Read more
For those starting divorce proceedings with an alcoholic spouse, I hate to say it, but prepare for a difficult road ahead. The process could be long, challenging, frustrating, and heartbreaking, and it will likely be emotionally taxing, scary, and overwhelming at times. However, staying in a toxic and possibly dangerous relationship is not the answer. … Read more
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