What would you do if you found a great guy (or girl), who you adored, and who your kids LOVED, but when it was just the two of you, you had zero interest in taking your clothes off? In other words, there was no passion. That’s what I address in this week’s “Love Essentially” column, published in Sun-Times Media local yesterday.
Boyfriend Great With Kids, But Passion Isn’t There, by Jackie Pilossoph
I’m dating a man with a 4-year-old. I have a 4- and 5-year-old. We have been out alone and with our children. I always have a great time when all the kids are there. But when it’s just he and I, I feel a bit awkward. I don’t feel comfortable doing more than kissing him. I like him. I find him attractive. We have fun together. I’ve never had this issue dating after divorce except for with this man. Should I keep this moving forward?
My gut reaction to this is that this guy sounds great. He seems like he’s a good dad who likes kids, he’s handsome and fun, and if you enjoy being with him, he must be affable. All that said, you are asking if you should “keep moving forward” with this man, when clearly, you can’t. Thus, your decision is already made, isn’t it?
Moving forward means getting closer, both physically and emotionally, and it doesn’t sound like you want to do that with him. In other words, when the kids are in bed, do you want him in your bed? Didn’t think so.
However, does that mean you have to stop seeing him? Not at all! This man sounds like he could become a close friend, and someone who could add value to your life, as well as to your kids’ lives. Every friendship is a gift, so I’d say grab it if you can.
But, you owe it to this man to be open and honest with him, and tell him how you feel. If you were him, wouldn’t you want to know? It’s the fair thing to do. Then it’s up to him to decide whether or not he wants to accept what you are capable of in the relationship.
He might be hurt and angry… Click here to read the rest of the article in Sun-Times Media local!
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