Being Newly Separated Means Grieving Your Breakup

By Jackie Pilossoph, Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling, Love Essentially columnist and author

newly separated

When men and women are newly separated, they are overwhelmed with so many different aspects of the impending divorce: kids, money, work, settlements, attorney fees, etc., that they often don’t get a chance to really grieve the breakup part of the relationship. Those other things crowd out the fact that you’ve just ended a long-term relationship, and there is a lot of pain in your heart, whether you realize it or not. In my Love Essentially Column, published yesterday in The Chicago Tribune suburban editions, I offer 10 tips to surviving a breakup.

Tips for Surviving a breakup during Valentine’s Day by Jackie Pilossoph

There’s nothing easy about a breakup, especially if you’re going through one right now, in the middle of winter when every day seems dark, dreary, and really cold. Even worse, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Who needs to see heart shaped boxes of chocolate and long stem red roses when your heart is broken in half?!

Here’s the good news. Everyone I know (including myself) has experienced the devastation and heartache of a bad breakup and we’ve lived, even thrived.

Here are 10 ways to help you survive your breakup:

1. Start doing yoga (especially hot yoga). In addition to all the physical benefits hot yoga offers, like detoxing your body and improving immune and digestive systems, yoga promotes deep breathing and living in the moment. It puts everything in perspective, and when you come out of the class dripping with sweat, you will feel like you just took a happy pill for the day.

2. Find a good therapist. No eye rolling, please. Talk therapy can really help you reflect on what went wrong in the relationship, who you are as a person, and what you might want and need in your future, and even in your next relationship.

3. Discover your faith. You don’t have to go to a synagogue or a church to talk to God. He’s everywhere. Reaching out to Him during a sad time will give you strength and hope.

4. Improve your physical self. Without sounding superficial, doesn’t looking great on the outside make you feel better emotionally? It does for me. That might mean a new haircut, wearing makeup, getting your nails done, eating clean and healthy, and working out. If you feel better about yourself physically, you’ll be happier, in general, which is important right now.

Click here to read the rest of the article, published yesterday in Chicago Tribune Suburban papers!

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Jackie Pilossoph

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorce is a journey. Live it with grace, courage and gratitude. Peace and joy are on the way! Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

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