Is My Husband Cheating?


Linked in

By Jackie Pilossoph, Divorced Girl Smiling Editor-in-Chief

I’m wondering, ‘Is my husband cheating?’ In the last year, my husband has taken an interest in colognes and new underwear. And, his data on his cell phone shows crazy high usage. I have asked if he has a girlfriend and he has denied it. Our sex life has diminished through the years so I am guessing that the signs lead to someone else, but I am afraid to try and learn more. Any thoughts on next steps?


Let me start by saying I’m very sorry this is happening to you. I’m sure this is a difficult (almost frantic) time. The not knowing must be frustrating and hard to deal with.

All that said, here is my opinion. I’m not saying it’s right, it’s just what I think. Ready? This might be hard to hear, but…


No one’s gut instinct was ever wrong.


That could include yours. So, if your suspicion is correct, you have some choices to make. First, ask yourself, “If I find out for sure that he is cheating, what do I want to do about it? Stay silent and do nothing? Work things out with him because I still love him? Work things out with him because we have kids and I don’t want to be a single mom? Get divorced? Come to an agreement that we will stay together and declare our marriage an open marriage? Have a trial separation?”


These are all options you have, and things you need to think about. However, you can’t really be expected to make a decision until you hear what your husband has to say. Therefore, you have to get him to admit to the cheating–if he is. You should sit him down and get it out of him. Ask him about the cologne and underwear, the excessive phone usage. Be nice but firm. Try not to be accusatory, because that will only make him defensive and angry. Be smart about this.

If/when he does admit to the cheating, the way he handles it will affect what you choose to do. One of these three things could happen:


  • He could be extremely apologetic, regretful and show remorse. He might cry and beg you for forgiveness. If that happens, the two of you might have a chance to work things out.


  • He might become angry and mean about it, admit to the cheating and tell you it’s your fault, that he hasn’t been happy in several years. He may even say he never loved you. If that happens, your marriage might be over.

  • He might tell you he is in love with another woman and wants to be with her. His tone might be kind of quiet and sad. If that happens, your marriage probably is over.


Vestor Capital Wealth Management


You wrote that you are afraid to learn more. I can completely understand how you might feel that way (especially after reading Jackie’s possible scenarios.) I get it. Facing the truth can be terrifying. That’s why doing nothing is an option. I bet there are countless women (and men) out there who know their spouses are cheating and choose to do nothing because they have weighed their options and keeping things status quo seems like the best one.


For me personally, I couldn’t live like that. I think living in that situation can cause someone’s self-esteem to plunge, their self-love to go bu-bye, and their life to get dark, dreary and lonely. It also sets a really bad example for the kids about what marriage is.


I guess what I’m saying is, it takes immense courage to get to the root of the truth and then handle what you find out. And, that might take you to a worse place for a period of time. But, once you get through the dark tunnel (which could mean divorce or working on the marriage or even just getting over the hurt, deceit and lies), the other side might be better.


Only you can make that decision, but I hope that you love yourself and that you cherish your values enough to do what is right/best for you and your kids.


One last thing I want to mention is that you need support right now, and some great ways to get that is through family members, close friends and faith. You need to lean on something or someone, almost as if you are bracing yourself. This is a very hard time for you. Let yourself trust someone.


In closing, you might roll your eyes when I tell you this, and that’s OK. I’ll say it anyway.

Things are going to turn out fine. They just will. I promise. It might not seem like that, but it’s true. Just remember to do what’s right for you and your kids, and what’s in your heart. Oh, and remember to TRUST YOUR GUT. Did I mention that no one’s gut instinct was ever wrong?


MJ Gabel - When a diamond isn't forever


Free Gift With Purchase, a novel by Jackie Pilossoph


Linked in

Author: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling offers advice, inspiration and hugs. If you want a Cinderella story, be your own fairy godmother. You're the only one who can pick out that perfect glass slipper!

5 Responses to “Is My Husband Cheating?”

  1. stephanie thomas

    Do you suspect your spouse of cheating, are you being overly paranoid or seeing signs of infidelity…Then he sure is cheating: I was in that exact same position when I was referred to Bruno through my best friend Monique who helped me hack into my boyfriend’s phone, it was like a miracle when he helped me clone my boyfriend’s phone and I got first-hand information from his phone. Now I get all his incoming and outgoing text messages, emails, call logs, web browsing history, photos and videos, instant messengers(facebook,whatsapp,bbm,IG etc) , GPS locations, phone tap to get live transmissions on all phone conversations..if you need help contact him on hackerethique gmail com

    • josh bass

      HACKER ALERT!!! I just made good grades with the help of a ethical hacker a course mate introduced me to, He has been making use of this hacker in fixing his grades since he got into college and there hasnt been a trace from the school. And now this same hacker has proven himself to be one of the best at what he does by helping me fix my college grades at a reasonable price within just 27hours. Isn’t that amazing?, This is for you all interested in the services of a professional hacker, reach him via his email address at AT gmail DOT com. Your minds will be blown by his hacking skills.

  2. bryan

    *Do you want to find out if your husband/wife/spouse is cheating on you?

    *Do you want to hack your university/college database to change your
    or do you want to get examination questions before the
    examination day?

    *Do you want to root/hack/sync your mobile phones?

    *Do yo want to have unrestricted access to your spouse’s /friends social

    *Do you want to recover all
    deleted messages by your spouse?

    *Do you want to clear police/criminal records?

  3. debby

    I don’t usually buy into this sort of stuff, but it feels so REAL!if you truly want to know if your husband or your wife is really cheating mail dejatech007 @ gmail. com .He is a certified ethical hacker and a systems programmer who can bypass any firewall.he does any job ranging from school record upgrades, credit score boosting and repairs ,email hacks, facebook hacks, whatsapp hacks,text messages,viber. Just name it and it 100% assurance


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *