Feeling Sad On Christmas or Hanukkah? Focus On These Three Things

sad on Christmas

By Jackie Pilossoph, Founder, Divorced Girl Smiling, the place to find trusted, vetted divorce professionals, a podcast, website and mobile app.

I have a special message for those feeling sad on Christmas or Hanukkah this year. Maybe you’re going through a divorce, or maybe you are already divorced and you’re just feeling lonely this year. Maybe your ex has the kids and that’s causing you pain.

Whatever the reasons are for your feelings of sadness on Christmas or Hanukkah, I understand. Holidays are extremely emotional times for reasons that include memories, traditions, sentimentality, family, and the pressure to have “the best Christmas ever.”

Being a divorced person who has spent countless Christmas’s (and a couple Thanksgiving’s alone), I have come to realize that feeling sad on Christmas or Hanukkah can be alleviated by focusing on three things:


1. Gratitude

I know it’s hard to have gratitude when you feel like life is terrible right now. Maybe your spouse recently left you and is with someone else, or your divorce makes you feel like you are going broke, or your kids are suffering from the divorce or you feel completely alone, like you will never find love again.

But, think of all the things you DO have: your kids, your family–parents, siblings, etc., friends, your dog or cat, your home, things you love to do, your health, your functioning body, your breath, even. Try to have gratitude for basic things that not everyone has.

I’m not minimizing your problems. I know you are suffering. I promise I understand. But if you can shift your thoughts, you will enjoy the holidays and every day so much more.

2. Love

Love is about so much more than romantic love. Focus on those you love and those who love you. Your kids, your dog, your parents, your siblings, your cousins, your friends. God loves you, too. You are never alone if you believe that.

3. Faith

Focus on faith. Things are going to get better. Nothing ever stays the same. Next year at this time, the picture will look a lot different. Have faith in other people, in yourself and in God. He has your back. If you believe that you are a good person and that you deserve to be happy, you will get that. That said, it isn’t going to be given to you. You have to work for things, too. What i mean by that is, it’s up to you to make good choices, to do the right things, to treat people with kindness, to work hard at your profession, and to figure out what it is in life that you really want so you can go after it.

Feeling sad on Christmas or Hanukkah is so much more manageable if you take the day for what it is and focus on these three things.

Best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah. I hope you are safe and warm and happy!


Like this post? Check out: “10 Reasons To Be Thankful On Thanksgiving, Despite Your Awful Divorce”


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    Jackie Pilossoph

    Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

    Jackie Pilossoph is the Founder of Divorced Girl Smiling, the media company that connects people facing with divorce to trusted, vetted divorce professionals. Pilossoph is a former NBC affiliate television journalist and Chicago Tribune/Pioneer Press features reporter. Her syndicated column, Love Essentially was published in the Chicago Tribune/Pioneer Press and Tribune owned publications for 7 1/2 years. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University. Learn more at: DivorcedGirlSmiling.com

    One Response to “Feeling Sad On Christmas or Hanukkah? Focus On These Three Things”

    1. ornaments

      He has your back. If you believe that you are a good person and that you deserve to be happy, you will get that. I hope you are safe and warm and happy. He has your back. If you believe that you are a good person and that you deserve to be happy, you will get that.


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