You wouldn’t believe how heavy my purse is. Sometimes I wonder, ‘Do I really need all this “stuff?”’ Mints, gum, business cards, dozens of pens, a phone charger, my wallet, check books, sunglasses, reading glasses, pics of my kids, and other sentimental stuff. Maybe I should travel lighter. But, I have some divorce advice for women. There are 10 things to always carry in your purse. Here they are:
1. Business cards:
You never know where you could be when you meet someone who could really make a difference in your life. You could be in line at Chipotle, or in Walgreens or at your child’s school, and you could start talking business with someone.
That could lead to a job opportunity, or a great connection, and yes, a date. A visual (meaning a card with your company name and number) is a much more powerful way for someone to remember you and follow up than exchanging numbers on each other’s iPhones.
Divorce is scary, especially at the beginning. I remember feeling very alone in the world and unsure of my future, both financially and emotionally. Keep some courage in your bag at all times. Remember in The Wizard of Oz when the wizard gave the cowardly lion the medal to give him courage?
If you need to do the same, carry an old medal or something that symbolizes how courage helped you win something in your life. It could be from sports, or it could be an old sales ranking report where you are in the top 10%. Anything to help you believe in your ability to roll your shoulders back, take a deep breath and forge ahead.
3. Photos of your children:
I know you have them on your phone, but there is nothing more powerful than looking at an actual photo of the people you love most in your life. If you are nervous about something, look at a picture of your kids. Hold it in your hand. Grip it tightly. If you are sad, if you are angry or you feel your divorce is unfair, hold the picture. Basically, any negative feelings can be neutralized by seeing the faces that give your life the most meaning.
4. A copy of the last page of your divorce decree:
During the months/years following your divorce, you might be asked to produce this document to change things on accounts such as beneficiaries, names, etc. After I changed my name back, many, many companies asked for this document. It will make things so much easier if you just have it on you. Plus, emotionally, it’s empowering to carry something that signifies that you survived your divorce and are moving on.
One of the most important things you need to carry with you: a symbol of faith and belief in God. It is beyond powerful. I believe there is a big difference between religion and spirituality. You don’t have to go to church or temple to feel the power of God. Talk to Him. Pray to Him, and believe. It will make a difference. Wear a cross for awhile, or a Jewish star, or carry a Hamsa or another symbol of your faith. If you ever feel alone, remember that you are not, because God is always with you.
6. Dental floss:
Not just divorce advice for women, but advice for ALL women (and me!), you need to carry dental floss in your purse! If you are out at a business lunch, do you really want to be picking out that piece of lettuce between your two front teeth with a toothpick?
The difference between those who get over their divorce and those who don’t lies in acceptance. It’s not easy, but acceptance is the key to a happy post-divorce life. It’s awful that it happened to you, but it did. So, accept what you have, focus on your new life, which will only get better and better with time. One night during my divorce (when I was confused and not sure if I was doing the right thing) I made a list of the reasons why I needed to get divorced. Consider doing the same and then carrying that list around in your purse.
You can buy an eight pack of travel size tissues at CVS for $2.49 and it will be the best $2.49 you ever spent! With divorce comes lots of crying (unfortunately), and lots of crying from other divorced women you might meet. Always good to be prepared.
I truly do not think people understand the power of lipstick. Call me superficial, but wearing lipstick improves your life!! Lipstick makes people feel pretty, which carries over into self-confidence and a better mood. Then, people they encounter are nicer because the lipstick wearer is giving off such a better vibe. Trust me. The best divorce advice for women I can give is, you owe it to yourself to carry lipstick.That might seem shallow to some, but I disagree. It’s not so much what lipstick does on the outside, but on the inside.
Love yourself. Please. You deserve it. How do you get more self-love? These ways: Treat others with kindness, forgive yourself for your mistakes, do the best job you can every day, don’t blame others for your mistakes, accept your part in the end of your marriage, and most importantly, take pride in who you are authentically. How do you carry self-love in your purse? Maybe put a photo of yourself in your purse that you love. And, don’t just carry your self-love in your purse, carry it in your heart.