Vulnerability in Relationships: Not Easy But Well Worth It!

vulnerability in relationships

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

As a big fan of vulnerability in relationships, I think this new card game, called “Vulnerability is Sexy” is a great way for couples to bring out vulnerability. It’s scary to share, but it leads to authenticity and more fulfillment. Try it! 

Creators Of New Card Game Think Vulnerability Is Sexy by Jackie Pilossoph for Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press

The word vulnerability has somewhat of a negative connotation. That said, as a relationship expert, I find the word to be one of my favorites. Why? Because I believe the best romantic relationships are those in which both partners have the courage to show vulnerability. It is then that they are sharing their authentic selves, which results in a deeper, stronger and more meaningful connection.

So when I received an email advertising T-shirts and a card game called “Vulnerability Is Sexy,” I was curious and wanted to learn more. Vulnerability is sexy? Isn’t that kind of an oxymoron? Vulnerability can be scary and uncomfortable and awkward. How is that sexy?

Those are the questions that led me to call and talk with Corey Blake, founder and CEO of Round Table Companies, his Highland Park-based creative branding and publishing company that produces the newly launched Vulnerability Is Sexy products.

Blake, who started the company 10 years ago, said his products were born out of a need not just for couples, but for company employees and people in business to engage with each other more and connect on a more meaningful level, which in turn leads to more opportunity and potential for success in the workplace.


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“We are all carrying these vulnerabilities, these things we are hiding from one another because we are afraid of judgment or because we are afraid someone will reject us if we share those. We see that as a darkness or a weakness, so our default is to remain disengaged,” Blake said. “Vulnerability is an invitation to really be with each other, fully present without judgment and just to listen. Not to rescue or solve or fix anything, but to be with you while you share. If we can be in that space regularly, life is very different.”

Vulnerability Is Sexy, which is meant to be played with 2-14 players for about an hour, consists of 150 questions (one question on each card). The questions, which were created by Blake and his team members, are broken down into three categories: “break the ice,” “get vulnerable” and “laugh a little.” Players can choose just how vulnerable they want to get.

Questions include: “What was your personality like as a child?” “When have you felt the most alone?” “What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made in a romantic relationship?” and “What would cause you to immediately grab hand sanitizer?”


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“What we are seeing happen is, people belly laugh together, they cry together and they feel connected and close to those they are playing with,” said Blake, who said he tested the game out on dozens of audiences before launching it. “There is an appreciation for each other, respect, likability and lovability. It helps you determine who you are aligned with and who gets each other. So for a business, it is huge because it helps people attract relationships that will be the best fit.”

Blake, who has been married for 11 years, said Vulnerability Is Sexy is also designed for playing in a family setting, at girl’s nights out, and of course in romantic relationships.

I decided to play Vulnerability Is Sexy with my pre-teenage daughter and teenage son during dinner a few nights ago. After initially hearing, “Mom, why are you making us do this?” several times, both ended up enjoying the experience and so did I. The game fostered lots of sentimental memories, giggling and laughter, and also sparked special conversations that would not have otherwise taken place.

Playing the game made me realize that vulnerability is scary for kids, too, and that maybe opening up and sharing during childhood could cause people to take more risks as adults when it comes to vulnerability.

Being vulnerable means really putting yourself out there when you’re unsure of how others will react. Is that easy to do? Hell no, but…(Click here to read the rest of the article, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press.)

Like this article? Check out my article, “Dating Someone Who Is Hot And Cold.”


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Jackie Pilossoph

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

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