The Perfect Kiss: Which One Of These Defines Yours?

By Jackie Pilossoph, Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling, Love Essentially columnist and author

What’s your definition of the perfect kiss? Here is mine, along with 5 other kinds of kisses and what they mean.


6 Kinds of Kisses And What They Mean  by Jackie Pilossoph

There’s a reason why the 1963 hit song, “Then He Kissed Me,” by The Crystals was included in Rolling Stone magazine’s list of “The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.” It’s because that song is every woman’s fairy tale. It’s about the cute guy, the dance, the walk home, the engagement and what might be the most breathtaking moment in a woman’s life: a perfect kiss.

You know what I’m talking about. We’ve all been there. A great kiss can be a powerful and life-changing event. It can have you on a high for weeks, even months. It can inspire you. It can give you clarity like never before, or hope you never thought you’d feel. And it can turn any dream you have into a realistic possibility.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I would address the subject of lip-locking, specifically that memorable first kiss, the different kinds of kisses we’ve all experienced, and the elements that make up the ultimate and utterly unforgettable smooch.

The idea for this column stems from Noam Osband, a New York-based anthropologist and filmmaker, who has produced over 40 short films in which he interviews men and women on the street about their first kiss.

“My first kiss was in high school and it was a big deal for me” said the 35 year-old Osband, who plans to shoot one film about kissing per day throughout 2016 as part of his kissing series, “First Kiss Confessions.” “It’s such a lovely kiss and so many people have good memories of it. It’s unforgettable.”

Osband and I came up with a list of 6 different kinds of kisses. Here are six:

1. The peck

My least favorite type of kiss, the peck is usually given on not-so-hot first dates, or as a courteous, quick or friendly hello or goodbye. To me, the peck means, “We are platonic.” I believe that even married couples or those in long-term relationships should stay away from the peck as much as possible. In other words, kiss your wife (or husband) like you mean it!

2. The sloppy

This kiss is a “combination of lust and alcohol, and a spring break staple,” according to Osband. There are also men and women who are just sloppy kissers, in general. The spouse has to accept that going in to the relationship or it will never work.

3. The lip bite

“A cousin to the sloppy, this kiss has grown in popularity, thanks to ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,'” Osband said. Aside from the fact that the lip bite can actually be painful, I think it can be sexy in the right situation and with the right person, of course.

4. The passionate

Typically found at airports and train stations, the passionate kiss combines urgency and intense joy or sadness (depending on departure or arrival). Additionally, the passionate kiss is the prelude to sex. It’s breathtaking, and sort of makes you feel like you’re in a movie.

5. The soft and sensual

This is the kind of kiss where you can actually feel the intensity of the other person’s lips. The kiss is slow and gentle, deep and meaningful, and is responsible for chapped lips the next day.

6. The true love

You’re lucky if you’ve experienced the true love kiss. It is the ultimate perfect kiss, as it combines all of these other kisses. The best way I can describe the true love kiss is, it feels like you are sitting by your fireplace sipping hot chocolate with your best friend, feeling safe and secure and deeply loved. It’s warm. It’s home. Both people are their authentic selves with no fear or vulnerability. And, at the same time, you feel like Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart in “Casablanca,” because your heart is pounding furiously and you never want the moment to end.




“There’s nothing better…(Click here to read the rest of the column, published yesterday in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press)

Like this article? Check out my blog, “49 Reasons to be inspired by dating, getting older, and yes, your divorce”



Buy novels by Jackie Pilossoph



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Jackie Pilossoph

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorce is a journey. Live it with grace, courage and gratitude. Peace and joy are on the way! Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

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