By Jackie Pilossoph, Divorced Girl Smiling Editor-in-Chief

Getting over a divorce isn’t easy. I know that firsthand. But there’s one word that really, really, really slows down the process of moving on: regret.


“He wouldn’t have cheated if I was a better wife.”

“I never should have taken that job in California and moved her away from her family.”

“My family warned me not to marry her. I should have listened.”

“I should have divorced him 10 years ago. I would have been a decade younger and had so much more time to be happy.”

“I should have worked harder at the marriage.”

“I never should have said those things to him.”


These are just some of the things someone getting divorced might say. These are regrets,  “should haves,”  feelings of sadness, disappointment, feeling sorry for something they did, or feelings of remorse, shame or guilt.


Everyone in life has regrets, not just about divorce, but about everything. I have regrets that I think cost me millions of dollars. I have regrets about things I didn’t do, places I never visited, people I didn’t stay in touch with. I have too many regrets to count. And of course, I have regrets when it comes to pretty much every romantic relationship I have ever been in, including my marriage and divorce.


Having regrets is part of life. It’s really the way we learn for the future, to live in a way that is better for us and a way that makes us happier.


I think it’s OK to have regrets, to think about them and to verbalize them. BUT, there comes a time when regrets need to be put to rest, not focused upon and pushed out of that space in your head that can choose to hold positive or negative thoughts.


Think about it. What good can come from constantly thinking about your regrets?

It is impossible to undo what you did in the past, isn’t it? So, all you can do is learn from it and become a wiser, healthier and a better overall person.


Our regrets are the drivers that make us smarter and smarter as we grow older.


With all that said, here is your divorce makeover. Put your regrets aside and replace that space in your head with TODAY. Rejoice and celebrate what you have NOW.


For example, it was 85 degrees and sunny yesterday in Chicago. I worked in the morning. I then worked out, and then took a walk on a beautiful trail. I then played tennis with my daughter. I was then off to work again, but at night, I had a wonderfully romantic dinner with someone I really enjoy.


My point is, I didn’t spent the day thinking about the fact that I had to work for a lot of it, and that if I’d stayed in my pharmaceutical job all these years (and not quit after I had kids) I’d probably be a multi-millionaire right now, getting ready to retire, and never working on the weekends. I also didn’t focus on the fact that had I married the right person, I might have been on a blissful family vacation yesterday.


Instead, I rejoiced in the moment all day long, from the workout, where I appreciated my health and body, to the gorgeous walking trail with the sun shining brightly on my face, to the visible joy and pride my daughter gets from playing tennis, and later that night, the bliss of romance.


Gratitude, contentment, and celebration should be what replaces those awful feelings of regret that don’t mean anything anymore, except for the fact that we gain valuable lessons from them.


It’s interesting. Those bitter people who can’t let go of the hatred and resentment for their ex: they haven’t let go of their regrets. Divorced people who end up happy embrace now and the future. They enjoy TODAY. The beauty is, the choice is yours.

Divorced Girl Smiling, a novel by Jackie Pilossoph Free Gift With Purchase, a novel by Jackie Pilossoph



Author: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling offers advice, inspiration and hugs. If you want a Cinderella story, be your own fairy godmother. You're the only one who can pick out that perfect glass slipper!

24 Responses to “One Word That Will Prevent You From Getting Over A Divorce”

  1. james agnes

    Please read my testimony, it can bring solution to the problems you are
    facing in life. I met this spell caster Dr Mojo online and read the
    testimonies of many persons witnessing how he has help them solve problems
    of any kind such as fibroid without surgery, Infertility, cure of diabetes,
    breast cancer, weak erection, regulation of menstruation and pains, stroke,
    HIV / AIDS, successful interview and work examination, political
    achievement, recovery of lost money, quick sales in business or commerce,
    choice of good marriage partner, power to bring your ex back, stopping your
    man or woman having affair outside your relationship or marriage, power to
    win pool, lottery, visa approval, reduction of sagging breast, gun
    protecting spiritual ring, promotion at work etc … I contacted him
    through his WhatsApp instant messenger with the phone number +27797427509.I
    was absolutely desperate to have my husband back. Life without my husband
    was a pain for me and my children. I wanted a drastic change and I thought
    that only magic can be the only solution because he was so cruel towards
    me. After discussing my problem with Dr Mojo, he gave me hope that my
    marriage shall be restored. He gave me confidence that he will make my
    husband to come home and he did It! It was a great miracle, He never asked
    for money before helping me, all he requested for was some few items i had
    to purchase, and i provided these items immediately, he performed the spell
    and my marriage was restored immediately. His help is invaluable! I do not
    know what I could have done without Dr Mojo, he does his job well, his
    powers are so real and effective, I think he is the best caster I can count
    on when it comes spells, although at first I never believed in magic until
    I had to try, I think there are many who are depressed, desperate and want
    this spell to return their happiness, so I have to use this medium to reach
    all those who are facing one problem or the other. Contact him immediately
    and I can guarantee that your problems are solved. You can also contact him
    via emailaddress;
    website;, for quick response call him or
    message him through Whatsapp instant messenger with his number+27797427509.
    Good luck, i hope you find your heart desires.

  2. Anonymous

    I think an alternative point of view is that some people do quite hurtful things when they stop caring, while others are respectful and caring and do not do such things. Nobody wants to be run over by an emotional bus and get hurt. When people get deeply hurt, hate results. Why is this so hard to grasp? If your X booked 10000 counseling appointments before you both decided it isn’t working, it is a different ballpark from getting a schmoopie and throwing you out on the street. You will not be able to forgive such a person, and will celebrate if they die.

  3. peterjordan

    I think this is a standout amongst the most critical information for me. What’s more, I’m happy perusing your article. thanks for sharing

  4. HappilyDivorced

    Jackie, I totally agree with your view that having bitterness and resentment for the ex is not going to be constructive at all and will only add further miseries to life – The sooner that one forgets the past and starts a new life like you have been doing, the better for ourselves and the loved ones around us.

  5. Geri

    I would be willing to try magic if it would bring my husband and myself back together.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *