Forget Dating Websites for the Moment and Focus on Friends


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By Jackie Pilossoph, Divorced Girl Smiling Editor-in-Chief

One of the most common questions I get from readers is, “How can I meet someone?” As human beings, we all want to belong to someone and feel loved. I totally get that. So, to answer the question, I  always recommend my favorite way of meeting someone, which is through other people, in other words, “network” and ask your friends if they know anyone for you. I also have no problem with online dating sites. It is statistically the number one way people today meet.

But I recently heard about a site called Friend Matchup that really intrigued me. It’s kind of like a dating site, but different, in that the goal is to meet girlfriends (or guy friends) in your area. Just friends. Platonic friends. And, the reason I was so interested is because I think when someone is going through a divorce, meeting new friends is so important, and can make you really, really happy.

Friend Matchup was started by Alexandra Wenzke, who isn’t divorced, but who knows the hardship of moving and having to start over  time and time again in the friend department. (I’m not saying you can’t keep your old friends, but they now become your internet buddies, and people you go visit.)

Wenzke’s idea to start Friend Matchup stems from the fact that she and her family have moved 10 times in 11 years! Can you even imagine? Her blog post is about a friend of hers whose husband sprung on her the fact that he wanted a divorce just 6 months after she moved for him!

 

Moving Before the Divorce by Alexandra Wenzke

Just months before my friend Cindy got a divorce, she moved to a new city. Her husband, Peter, thought they should live closer to his family. So they moved. Cindy left behind her career, the house where her son grew up, and the town where she knew everyone.

Six months after the move Peter said he wanted a divorce. That left Cindy alone in a new place. What could she do? Stay in the new city and make the best of it? Go back to her old home but create a geographical barrier between her son and her husband? It was the most difficult choice of her life.

Sadly, it’s not unusual for couples to move right before a divorce. Some people think that a fresh start in a new place will help the marriage. Others feel that being closer to family may help ease childcare issues that are a source of conflict. Unfortunately, moving itself is a stressful event. On top of that, moving often involves buying or selling a house. If your marriage is in trouble, these difficult changes can make matters worse.

Did you move right before your divorce? If so, reach out to old friends for a girls’ weekend away or for a visit. But, at the same time, you may want to start building a local support network. There’s nothing like meeting a friend for a movie or a drink. How can you meet friends in your new city?
Do Something Fun With Other People
• Join an adult sports league. Relieve stress through exercise and meet new people.
• Take an adult education class. Give your mind something new to think about. Group guitar lessons, knitting, business classes and ice skating. Knitting groups are great therapy.

Meet New Friends through Friend Matchup

• You want to meet local friends, but you don’t have time the time to look for them. Friend Matchup will connect you with new friends in your area with shared interests.
Keep Smiling
• Take it one day at a time. If there’s any silver lining, it’s that times of great upheaval are also times of great opportunity.

Okay, so I went to Friend Matchup and signed up, even though I’ve lived in my community for 9 years. You can never have enough friends, right?? This site is amazing! It takes less than 5 minutes to open an account, and you start getting matches, just like a dating website. So, when you get in touch with someone, you already know they want to meet new friends!

Here’s my advice. You might want to forget dating websites for the moment and focus on the platonic friendships that can offer companionship, life enrichment, fun, lots of laughs, a shoulder to cry on, and special bonds that are true gifts. Another bonus: you could meet someone (meaning a romantic relationship) through your new friends! Check it out! Friend Matchup.com.

 

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Author: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling offers advice, inspiration and hugs. If you want a Cinderella story, be your own fairy godmother. You're the only one who can pick out that perfect glass slipper!

7 Responses to “Forget Dating Websites for the Moment and Focus on Friends”

  1. Lauren

    I love this idea but don’t love that the site isn’t free. It would be great if they promoted local businesses on the site for new friends to meet and made it free to participate.

    Reply

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