Feeling Alone and Depressed on Your Birthday During Divorce?

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By Jackie Pilossoph, Founder, Divorced Girl Smiling, the place to find trusted, vetted divorce professionals, a podcast, website and mobile app.

Feeling alone and depressed on your birthday during or after your divorce? I remember my first birthday (a month after my husband moved out) and crying a lot that day. 

Birthdays, including those during or after divorce, can make us feel old, and like time is going by and maybe we are running out of time. If someone doesn’t feel like he/she is in a good place on their birthday, it can feel depressing and isolating–especially during or after a divorce.

So, when I saw this article, written by Rabbi Dovid Tiechtel, head rabbi at the Illini Chabad at University of Illinois,  my first thought was that it would help people feeling alone and depressed on your birthday during a divorce.


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A Thought on my Birthday


by Rabbi Dovid Teichtel


So why in the world should we celebrate our birthday? It’s after all just another day when another human being was born, just one more from among six billion…


I ask this question to you as I celebrate my 43rd birthday today. What message can I tell myself from Rabbi Dovid on this special day in my life?


Here is what I would share with myself, feel free to eavesdrop into the conversation:


Dovid, your birthday is chosen by G-d – not by your parents, neither your astrologer nor the obstetrician. Birth is G-d saying that the world can’t go on without you. It is the day that your soul’s mission had to begin.


There were already nearly six billion people on earth when you were born. Did the world really need you? Can one more soul really make a difference?


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Obviously the answer is yes; otherwise G-d would not have sent your soul to this earth. The fact that you were born means there must be some unique gift that you have to offer the world that none of those other six billion people could possibly achieve.


So your birthday is an opportunity to reflect: This is the day that my soul was dispatched on its mission. How is the mission going? Have I been contributing my part to the furthering of G-d’s purpose to create heaven on earth? Have I been doing my bit to enhance and improve myself and my world? How much time and energy do I spend on meaningful pursuits? How much time could I add to that amount in the coming year?


This is the message I need to keep on reminding myself and I want to take this day to remind you too:

You, as an individual, are special, unique, and utterly indispensable. No person alive, no person who has ever lived, and no person who shall ever live, can fulfill the specific role in G-d’s creation entrusted to you.


Friends, our soul was sent down by priority delivery. Let us make sure our soul will always remains a priority.


In Jewish tradition on the day of one’s birthday we have extra luck-“Mazal”, and good fortune. It is with this in mind that I would like to share with each and every one of you, some of this Mazal and blessings which shines on the day of my birthday, with wishes for health, happiness, wealth, and prosperity, both materially and spiritually!

Wishing you an amazing day!

Rabbi Dovid


P.S. If you’d like to give a gift for my birthday, here’s my request: Do an extra Mitzvah(good deed/thoughtful act of kindness) today and you will make this world a more G-dly and goodly place. That will be a most wonderful gift for my birthday!


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So, if you are feeling alone and depressed on your birthday during or after divorce, try to spend some of your day doing a good deed or displaying an act of kindness. I promise you it will make you feel wonderful about yourself, and it will give you hope and bring happiness to your soul. 

Lastly, remember this about your birthday: think about how much better your next birthday is going to be, when your divorce is behind you. Think about your birthday last year, and how much has happened since then. So, next year will be the same. A lot will have happened and I know you will be in a much better place, continuing to get healthier and happier. And that all starts with believing in yourself and living a life filled with faith, authenticity, and kindness. 

Happy Birthday, Beautiful!

Love, Jackie


Like this article? Check out, “20 Things I Wish I Could Have Told My Newly Separated Self”

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    Jackie Pilossoph

    Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

    Jackie Pilossoph is the Founder of Divorced Girl Smiling, the media company that connects people facing with divorce to trusted, vetted divorce professionals. Pilossoph is a former NBC affiliate television journalist and Chicago Tribune/Pioneer Press features reporter. Her syndicated column, Love Essentially was published in the Chicago Tribune/Pioneer Press and Tribune owned publications for 7 1/2 years. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University. Learn more at: DivorcedGirlSmiling.com

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