A DGS reader wrote this: Just went on my first solo date–went to see the movie Bombshell, which was pretty good. Man, why did I used to be so intimidated by enjoying things alone? It’s so peaceful.
First off, congratulations on your solo date and you self-care act! Taking yourself out, doing the things you love, and not needing a “partner” to do it is exhilarating, yet very few women do it.
I believe there’s an old stigma attached to a solo date. It was believed that a woman going on a solo date was strange, weird, desperate and it was looked at as a sad case. Thank goodness, the times have changed! Nowadays, solo dates are applauded. Women are strongly encouraged to participate in solo dates as a learning tool to treat yourself with the same care and consideration you would give to another person.
While initially, a solo date may seem uncomfortable, I can assure you, it gets easier. My first solo date was to a nice dinner at a new restaurant. It caused for me to dress up, play in some makeup, and be seated where I could people watch. I had the best time!
Solo dating got so comfortable to me, that when I was presented the opportunity to travel to Las Vegas for work, I jumped at the chance!
Me in Vegas for 7 days, by myself, YES let’s do it.
Healing from the loss of a relationship, is tough. One module I used to coach is a concept called, “The Power of One!” I explain to women all over, that one is a powerful number. It is not broken, doesn’t depend on another number, and can stand on its own with pride and purpose. Just like us!
Right now, you may be in a season of one. You are not broken, dependent on anyone to have a good time, and can stand on your own with pride and purpose! This is a season to be celebrated. The number one means new beginnings. You my dear, are journeying into a new beginning. A new season of you. Whatever you want to do, do it!
My hope is that more women embrace “The Power of One!” Do some research on the number one, then decide to do whatever brings you happiness! Here’s a quick list of things I find fun to do on a solo-date:
1. Visit a Nursery and pick your favorite flowers.
Inhale the scents, learn a bit about horticulture and how to make your own floral arrangements.
2. Go for a walk.
I often pick a local nature trail and walk. I pick a quiet spot, pull out my journal and write a few notes. It’s a great stress reliever and way to get in a few steps for your pedometer!
3. Get a facial.
The older I get, the more I love learning about skin care. I book myself a facial, have soothing music playing in the background, and learn about things such as Vitamin C serums, hyaluronic acid, and glow tonics to keep this over 50 face looking more like 35.
4. Go dancing!
There are places in my area that host Salsa night, line dancing, or Chicago-style stepping. Make some phone calls, find out the when & where, then show up to have a good time.
In closing, will you do me a favor? Every time you feel yourself sinking into a “space”, will you think of how powerful the number one is? Find yourself a keepsake of the number one, and place it somewhere you frequent at home & at work.
I have a magnet on the fridge of the number 1. It just a visual reminder of how strong I am and that I can do whatever I want, by myself and feel good about it. Let me know how you plan on embracing “The Power of One”, I’d really like to hear all about it!
Debbie LeSean is a life coach to high achieving women executives navigating the divorce funnel. She is an author, public speaker & founder of the nonprofit, 2LIVE Daily, which helps families navigate the mental health maze. Debbie helps women remove the executive mask to gain clarity on their goals and purpose, and achieve a breakthrough. A graduate of V.C.U. and Liberty University, Debbie uses her degrees in Counseling & Executive Leadership to shift mindsets, eliminate limiting belief and release the emotional heaviness that often accompanies divorce. Debbie is a two-time divorcee who took the time to heal WHOLE before stepping into the “best relationship ever.” To connect with Debbie, you can email her at email@example.com or visit her website at debbielesean.com.
Like this article? Check out, “Being Alone After Divorce: Why It’s OK and Tips on How To Enjoy It”