Throughout my career, which spans almost ten years, a question I am often asked is “When should you get a divorce?” That might mean, “When is the right time to get a divorce?” or “At what point does it make sense to get a divorce?,” in other words, “How do you know when divorce is the best decision, the right answer?”
As much as I wish there was a tried and true answer to this question, there isn’t. However, the overarching main principle and slogan that I live by as well as advise client’s is, “life is no rehearsal.”
In other words, When should you get a divorce? There never is a good time to get divorced or to finally find the courage to leave an unhealthy, toxic, abusive or unsafe relationship.
COVID-19 Should Not Be A Reason To Sacrifice What Is Best For You
You may have convinced yourself that the reasons to stay far outweigh the reasons to leave, especially during this unprecedented pandemic when all sense of normalcy seems like a stranger. With the entire world feeling the serious effects of COVID-19, you may be thinking that you shouldn’t dare leave or put yourself first at this time.
There are other reasons you might feel staying is the safe option. These can include:
1. You have been a stay at home parent for the last 20 years.
2. Maybe you have been out of the workforce for several years and you don’t feel you have any way to support yourself without your spouse.
3. You and your spouse are both in the workforce and you have established your schedules so that while one parent is at work the other is available to take care of your children and without that regimen you have no idea how child care will be completed.
Regardless of the reason, it is important to realize that while these are valid concerns, they are concerns that can be resolved. Even more importantly, they are not reasons why you should be willing to sacrifice your happiness, freedom, or emotional health.
Many clients have shared that it was the unknown that scared them. It was the lack of knowledge that deterred them.
The biggest step in making the right choice is gaining the confidence to simply find out the unknowns that may be forcing you to remain in your current situation.
After my clients have an initial call with me, they often say that they now feel a sense of relief, and that they wish they would have called me sooner. The prospect of leaving seemed too great to overcome, which they realize after our initial consultation was not the case.
Be An Active Participant In Your Life and Happiness
While it may seem like the reasons to stay are unsurmountable and that it may just be easier to stay put in a broken marriage or relationship, ask yourself, is this how I really want to live?
You deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your relationships and you should not let the fear of uncertainty hold you back, especially because a majority of your concerns can be easily resolved throughout the divorce process alone; something that most people don’t realize.
If you are uncertain as to how you will provide for yourself because your spouse has provided financially towards the majority of your expenses, there can be a solution. Depending on your current situation, you could be entitled to receive alimony payments (now known as maintenance) until you are able to sufficiently support yourself or even indefinitely depending on the circumstances.
If you have children, terms can be worked out for parenting time, child care and child related expenses. These are not things that you will be forced to do alone or be forced to pay for without contribution from your spouse. These are just a few of the general concerns that my clients have.
Knowledge is power. Knowing what your options and rights are is key to the question, “When should you get a divorce?” This is a decision that can lead to the new chapter in your life; the chapter you have been waiting for, hoping for, longing for.
I Am Dedicated To You
I have spent my entire 10-year career dedicated to divorce and family law. It is all that I do, day in and day out.
I understand that you may have questions or concerns that arise after hours. Your life doesn’t stop after 5pm when so many attorneys stop working for the day, and mine doesn’t either. I pride myself in being available for you at any time you need it, night or day, weekday or weekend.
A divorce can be a scary process to start when you don’t have the right attorney to assist you and guide you through the process. My passion and dedication to helping clients through a divorce is one that I hold close to my heart. It is also one of the many reasons why my Firm has been recognized as one of the Top Family Law Firms in Illinois.
When Should You Get A Divorce?
Life is no rehearsal. If you are struggling with wanting and needing change but don’t know where to turn for answers, I’m here for you. We only have one chance at this thing called life. We deserve what is best for ourselves and our children. I’m here to help you take the next steps to achieve your new chapter in life filled with happiness, prosperity and bliss.
Tiffany M. Hughes is a divorce attorney and Managing Partner of The Law office of Tiffany M. Hughes. Awarded as a Top 100 in Lawyers Magazine in 2018 and 2019, Hughes represents individuals in all aspects of family and matrimonial law proceedings, including litigation, mediation, allocation of parental responsibility (formerly known as custody), parentage, divorce and other child-related matters.