The Perfect New Year’s Resolution For A Divorced Woman And/Or Single Mom


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divorced woman, single mom

By Jackie Pilossoph, Divorced Girl Smiling Editor-in-Chief

While losing weight, exercising, and/or eating healthier are great New Year’s resolutions, I thought of one that I think is more important than all of these, especially for a divorced woman and/or a single mom. In this week’s Love Essentially, I offer a great New Year’s resolution to consider: self-compassion. Don’t roll your eyes. Read on! Trust me on this one…

The New Year’s Resolution You’ve Been Waiting For

by Jackie Pilossoph for Chicago Tribune Media Group

“I’m losing 10 pounds in 2019.” “I will be at the gym five days a week starting January 1st.” “This is the year I’m going to save more money.”

 

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it all before, and actually, I’ve made all of those New Year’s resolutions countless times in the past.

While these are all great goals and steps to improving your life, there’s one New Year’s resolution that trumps them all. It’s not about anything you think you should be doing, but rather about embracing and loving the person you are — as is. I’m talking about making self-compassion your New Year’s resolution for 2019.

What is self-compassion? I sat down with Sheila Devi, a Chicago-based certified professional coach who has written several articles on the subject. Devi, who specializes in career and executive coaching, described self-compassion as “being as kind and understanding to oneself as you would to your best friend.”

 

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“There is a culture that has been created about working hard and comparing ourselves to others and second-guessing ourselves,” said Devi, who has been in practice for three and a half years. “As a result, most of us go through our days doing something or saying something and then minutes or hours later end up thinking back on the situation, replaying it and then thinking about what we should have said or done differently. There is nothing productive about looking back and beating ourselves up about it.”

Here are three components of self-compassion, according to Devi:

1. Brutal thoughts counteract self-care. (Click here to read the rest of the article, published in the Chicago Tribune, LA Times, Pioneer Press editions and several other newspapers across the U.S.)

Like this article? Check out, “8 Ways To Answer Negative Self-Talk During Divorce”

 

Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois

 

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