Relationship Advice: The Do’s & Don’ts of saying “I Love You”



By Jackie Pilossoph, Divorced Girl Smiling Editor-in-Chief


Those three little words that we all long to hear from the man or woman we adore can mean the world, but if said at an inopportune time or under the wrong circumstances, “I love you” can be a dreaded statement that might cause confusion, embarrassment or even regret.

So, when are the right times to say “I love you,” and when is it best to keep that declaration to yourself? Here are a few do’s and don’ts when it comes to using the L word:

• Do say it when you see your spouse do something that you adore.

• Don’t say it out of obligation, or because he or she said it to you and you feel awkward not saying it back.

• Do say it after a fight.

• Don’t say it for the first time during sex.

• Do say it for the first time when you are fully clothed.

• Don’t say it when you’ve been drinking.

• Do say it sober.

• Don’t say it too often or it loses its meaning.

• Don’t say it because you feel guilty about something.

Do say it on your spouse’s birthday.


Do say it when you see your spouse in an act of true kindness, or if you are proud of him or her.


Don’t say it in an attempt to get the person to forgive you. Instead, try, “I’m sorry.”


Do text it, just for nothing. There is, without question, no better text someone can receive.


Do say it to give your spouse confidence before a big interview or business meeting.


Do say it in front of your kids at times. It makes them feel loved.


Don’t say it in a desperate attempt to keep the other person from ending the relationship.


Don’t say it just to get someone into bed.


Don’t say it to a lot of people. Isn’t it nicer to be able to say you’ve only said I love you to one or two or even a handful of people you’ve dated versus 28?

Regardless of all these do’s and don’ts, saying I love you or keeping it to yourself is something only you, in your heart can decide. That said, there are a few words that sometimes mean so much more than I love you.

So, next time you feel like saying I love you, but you aren’t sure if it’s the right time, see if one of these might be a better fit:


1. You’re my best friend.
2. You’re hot.
3. You bring out the best in me.
4. I’m sorry.
5. I trust you.
6. I really enjoy being with you.
7. I respect you.
8. My heart pounds when you’re in the room.

9. I’m proud of you.

10. You make me really happy.







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