How to Empower Yourself after Divorce

how to empower yourself

By Jasmine Rice, Transformational Life Coach, Author, Motivational Speaker

Feeling empowered is essentially the opposite of feeling powerless. Feeling empowered is believing you are in control—I don’t mean having to call the shots 100% of the time—control is also controlling how you respond to situations that you aren’t in control of. Empowerment is about knowing that you’re in charge of your own life, and that you have the strength and confidence you need to make decisions and changes. Going through a divorce can make you feel powerless. So, how do you empower yourself after you have gone through one of the most challenging times in your life? Here is a list to get you started!

1. Express Yourself

Empowerment is largely about being able to express your thoughts and feelings, articulately, unapologetically, but respectfully.

2. Check In With Yourself

In this hectic, fast-paced world, intentionally taking time out of your busy day just for you can be one of the best ways to empower yourself. Even if it’s just 5 minutes.

3. Clean Up

How do you empower yourself if you’re surrounded by chaos? You can’t. It’s an amazing feeling to purge the things you no longer need. If you can’t purge some of the larger items you have, such as a couch or a dining room table, rearrange or redecorate the room with new accessories, paint, or new wall art. Making your home your own is key in feeling empowered.


4. Do Good, Feel Good

Doing good for others in whatever way, shape, or form can be extremely rewarding. There is actually a phrase called a “helpers high” because when you do something kind for others, your brain releases endorphins which are the feel-good chemical of the brain. This is one of the best ways in how to empower yourself.

5. Failure Is Not A Bad F Word

Your marriage didn’t fail, your relationship ended. Failure has such a negative connotation, but in reality, failing at something is an opportunity to learn. We learn from every situation and experience, especially those that don’t turn out how we expected them to. Your marriage “failure” is not the end of your story, it’s the beginning of your comeback story! If you have that attitude, it leads to empowerment.

6. Be Vulnerable

It’s easy to want to keep your guard up after a divorce. But if you constantly have walls up to protect yourself from getting hurt again, you are also missing out on all the good that can happen if you put yourself out there. Being vulnerable is a risk. It’s not easy to do, especially after a divorce. But, it can lead to wonderful experiences and lessons, and of course, empowerment.

7. Happiness Is On You

How to empower yourself really comes down to this. If you feel like it’s someone else’s responsibility to make you happy or someone else’s happiness is entirely your responsibility—you’re bound to end up feeling powerless. You’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness but your own. Other people in your life can enhance your happiness just as you can be a contributing factor to someone’s happiness—but in the end, you are responsible for your own happiness.

8. Positive Self-Talk

When you catch yourself thinking negative or self-critical thoughts, acknowledge those thoughts, then clap your hands loudly and pretend you have squished that thought! There are several NLP Techniques that can support you to dismantle your inner thoughts. When you start doubting yourself, repeat after me, “I GOT THIS!”

Personal empowerment and self-esteem go hand and hand. It is about taking control of your own life, and making positive decisions based on what YOU want.

A life coach can support you during your empowerment journey by providing tools and helping you stay accountable. To learn more about working with me visit my website at

Editor’s note: Jasmine is hosting an all-day event for women in transition. Sign up here to get tickets, either on-line or in-person!

Like this article? Check out, “15 Tips to Surviving Divorce”


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