This is a guest post by divorce attorney, Anna Krolikowska, offering 7 books for those contemplating divorce or going through one. I know Anna personally and think she is a smart, compassionate and wonderful attorney. Here is her article:
Helpful Books For People Contemplating Divorce
by Anna Krolikowska
I am a family law attorney. In my practice I work with clients who are contemplating or pursuing divorce, or clients who are in the process of crafting their prenuptial agreements. I see those two areas of my practice as the continuum of life, and I have learned a lot about relationships from it.
Frequently people ask me to suggest books to help them through the divorce process. With so many books written about relationships it’s hard to tell which ones are the best. After all, a lot depends on someone’s particular life experiences. However, there are a few standouts. My list below is a good start, there are certainly other good books, however these have time and again proven themselves to be helpful to my clients. Of course, every person in the process of divorce must make decisions based on the counsel they receive from their attorney and other trained professionals. However, I believe reading a few well-written books can aid one’s perspective on the divorce, how to negotiate and how to help children through the process. These are all areas where each person can learn a great deal and work toward the best possible resolution while minimizing the levels of distress that can be so prevalent during divorce.
The following are a few books that are outstanding in terms of their content and point of view regarding interpersonal conflict, communications and the process of divorce.
1. Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations by William Ury | Divorce is often about negotiation and finding a path through conflict (or at least strong differences of opinion) to get to a point of resolution and clarity. This book helps people move through “no” to get to “yes”. Buy book
2. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen | Divorce is hard. That’s a fact. Couples, during divorce, are frequently faced with difficult conversation. This book helps keep the focus on solutions and how to move through the conversations to resolution. Buy book
3. Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on With Your Life by Pauline H. Tesler, M.A., J.D., and Peggy Thompson, Ph.D. | I’m a divorce attorney trained in mediation and collaborative process. This is a refreshing approach to what is frequently viewed as a solely litigated field. Some couples collaborate on the dissolution of their marriage, or on the creation of their prenuptial agreement, and learning how this process works can greatly aid a couple, especially a couple seeking greater privacy and a focus on what’s best for their minor children (if they have children), and themselves. Buy book
4. The Good Karma Divorce: Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On With the Rest of Your Life by Hon. Michele Lowrance| There’s no question that divorce is painful and facing the dissolution of a marriage is so hard on a couple. This book helps people think through ways they can move through the process toward a happier, more fulfilled future. Buy book
5. Perfect Phrases for Conflict Resolution by Lawrence Polsky and Antoine Gerschel. Very often clients struggle with how to say the good and necessary things they need to say. This book offers helpful perspective on how to communicate so that you can be heard and appreciated. Buy book
6. I Love You Penelope Rose by Tammy Daniele, LCSW | This is a warm-hearted story for younger children that emphasizes kindness, love and how children can face divorce. It’s a good book for preschool-3rd Buy book
7. Kara Kangaroo’s Candy. A Story to Help Children Cope with Divorce by Leigh Neiman Weisz, Psy. D. | This book is especially helpful for children who are coping with the concept of their parent’s divorce. The book helps children understand that the divorce is not happening because of them or due to their fault. Buy book
There are hundreds of books written about communications in adverse situations, negotiating for what one needs and about the many facets of divorce. I always encourage my clients to explore books that might help them through their experience. If you have read a good book that you would recommend, please feel free to send me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Anna Krolikowska is an attorney in private practice in the metro-Chicago and North Suburban Chicago areas. She is a collaboratively trained attorney and a Fellow of The Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois. Within her law practice Anna works with clients using the collaborative process, mediation, or the litigated approach. To learn more about which approach might be best for you contact Anna at email@example.com, or (847) 715-9328 to schedule a consultation.