Feeling Abandoned in a Relationship: Emotionally and Financially

By Catherine Shanahan, CDFA and Karen Chellew, co-Founders, My Divorce Solution

 Feeling abandoned in a relationship is extremely taxing emotionally. It can cause a person to feel insecure, angry, and sad, and can take a toll on self-esteem. But what happens when the abandonment translates into finances? In other words, your spouse or soon-to-be ex leaves you with money problems, along with stress and fear about your financial situation?

Financial abandonment can be both a symptom and a cause of deeper marital issues. It often reflects a breakdown in communication and trust, two pillars of a healthy marriage. When one spouse withholds financial support or abandons their financial responsibilities, it can create immense stress and feelings of betrayal. This neglect can lead to resentment and a breakdown in the marital relationship and/or to divorce..

During the divorce process, financial abandonment adds layers of complexity. The spouse who has been financially abandoned often faces the dual challenge of navigating the legal aspects of divorce while struggling to maintain financial stability. This can be especially daunting if they were not actively involved in the family’s financial planning or if they have limited access to financial resources. The process of discovery, untangling joint finances, determining alimony, and dividing assets becomes significantly more challenging.


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Challenges of Feeling Abandoned in a Relationship

Emotional Toll:

Financial abandonment can intensify the emotional distress of divorce. The sudden loss of financial security can exacerbate feelings of vulnerability, anxiety, and uncertainty about the future. This emotional burden can make it more difficult to make rational decisions during the divorce process.

Difficulty in Asset Division:

Without a clear understanding of the family’s finances, it becomes challenging to ensure a fair division of assets. This is particularly problematic if the abandoning spouse was responsible for financial management, leaving the other spouse with limited knowledge of the assets and debts involved.



Long-term Financial Consequences:

The financial impact of abandonment can extend well beyond the divorce itself. Rebuilding financial stability, particularly if the abandoned spouse was not the primary earner, can take years and may involve significant lifestyle changes.

Legal Complexities:

Navigating the legal system without adequate financial support can be daunting. Legal fees and the cost of financial experts to uncover hidden assets or income can add a substantial burden

In these types of situations, achieving financial clarity becomes paramount. Understanding the full financial picture is essential for making informed decisions during the divorce process. This includes having a comprehensive view of assets, debts, income, and expenses.

My Divorce Solution is here to help. By providing expert guidance and financial clarity. They assist individuals in understanding their financial landscape, which is vital for navigating the divorce process effectively. By offering tools and resources to gain financial knowledge and establish a realistic budget, they empower individuals to make informed decisions. This support is crucial for planning post-divorce finances and ensuring a stable financial future.

Moreover, My Divorce Solution can guide individuals in protecting their credit and prioritizing savings, which are essential steps in building financial independence post-divorce. Their expertise in handling the financial aspects of divorce can provide a sense of security and control during a tumultuous time.

In closing, if you are feeling abandoned in your relationship, your marriage, or during your divorce, please understand that you don’t have to go through it alone. We would highly recommend seeing a therapist and or hiring a divorce coach to help you with the emotional aspects of abandonment. And for the financial part of things, we are here to help you through it. Feeling abandoned is terrible and painful, but as time passes and healing begins, those feelings disappate, giving way to self-sufficiency, peace and even joy.

To learn more about working with My Divorce Solution, visit www.mydivorcesolution.com to complete their free online assessment.

Catherine Shanahan

Catherine Shanahan is Co-founder of My Divorce Solution. With over 30 years of experience in the financial industry, Catherines serves clients as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and trained mediator. A Professional Daily Money Manager, Catherine is also a former VP of the Bucks County Collaborative Law Group, American Association of Daily Money Managers, Institute of Women Business Financial Analysts (IDFA), National Association of Women Business Owners, advisory council of Support Pay, and the Association of Divorce Financial Planners.

As a mom of five and financial expert, Catherine’s experience with divorce left her wishing for better information, resources, and process for the financial separation that comes with divorce. As a result, Catherine co-founded My Divorce Solution – the company she needed in her divorce. If you’d like to contact Catherine, please reach out to her here.

Karen Chellew

Karen Chellew is Co-founder of My Divorce Solution. With over 30 years of legal experience, Karen servers clients as a legal liaison – the central link that assures divorces are professionally executed as efficiently as possible. Karen is also a certified QDRO Administrator, Founder and President of Sisters U Foundation, advisory council of Support Pay, and an Auditor of East Rockhill Township.

As a divorced mom of three, Karen knows what it’s like to navigate the dark waters of divorce alone and in the dark. Karen cofounded My Divorce Solution as the company she wished had existed in her divorce. She’s committed to helping families navigate divorce differently – with financial clarity – not fear – driving decisions and compromise. If you’d like to contact Karen, please reach out here.

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