Divorce Advice from a Divorced Guy

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

I can give divorce advice all day long, sharing what I know based on my own experiences. What I CAN’T do is tell you what a divorced guy is thinking, what he wants, what he doesn’t, what bugs the crap out of him, and what will make him fall in love with you. 

So, I asked my good friend, John Turner, also known as Professor, JT (the hottie is pictured above) to guest post and enlighten us on what’s going on inside the mind of a divorced guy. Wait till you hear what you he has to say!



by John C. Turner M.S. AKA Professor JT

When a Man gets Divorced, in a lot of cases he is a lot quicker to get back out there on the Dating Scene than a Woman may be. MEN, make sure that you get the mental, physical, and emotional help that you need before getting into another relationship after you have ended a marriage. That’s to make sure that you are ready for another relationship and are able to give your all to the new person that comes in your life, without all the emotional baggage of your past marriage lingering on the inside of you.

Now, with all of that being said, for a Divorced Man getting back on the Dating playing field, there are going to be all kinds of different types of Women he’s going to run into, even while the ink is still drying on his divorce papers. A Divorced Man shouldn’t be too quick, as stated before, to jump into another relationship, but the Ladies will be there. So, a Divorced Man goes out on a couple dates and starts to realize, “This isn’t as easy as I once remember it being!” There are certain types of Women a Divorced Man will want and certain ones he definitely needs to stay away from!


Let’s start off with the type of Women that definitely a Divorced Man does NOT WANT to have in his life:

  1. The “I’M SO SORRY” Woman – This is the Woman who is always apologizing for how his Ex Wife was not the Wife for him, only for her own gain. She wants to seem sympathetic, but she puts herself out there to look only desperate and pathetic. All she wants in the end is to be the Woman he falls for because she acted like she cared about his feelings so she won’t be single anymore.

2.The “I Told You So” Woman –  This is the Woman who possibly was an Old High School or College Friend who might honestly care for the Divorced Man. Sadly she is sitting back shaking her head at him every time she see him. “I told you that she wasn’t the right Woman for you!” She’s always putting it back in his face how she told the Divorced Man how that woman in the beginning was not a good fit for him. Sometimes, she may sneak in how great of a Woman she is to see if maybe she can get her shot at being married to the Divorced Man.


3.The “I’m So Happy He’s Single” Woman – This is the Woman who wanted that Man from the Day that she saw him. Now that she hears he’s single, she is ALL OVER HIM! Bringing him gifts, sending him text, calling him to come over so she can cook for him and take CARE of him. This Woman is determined to make this Divorced Man hers now that he is available.

Here are some Women that a Divorce Man does desire after his Divorce.

  1. The “I’m Divorced Too” WomanThis is the Woman who knows EXACTLY what this Divorced Man is going through and struggling with emotionally and internally. They actually gel with each other very well because of their similar past. They are able to discuss what they went through and know exactly what they don’t want and need out of another relationship and possible marriage.


2. The “Let’s Start Over & Live” Woman – A lot of Divorced Men while they were married feel like they missed out on some things in life being a Married Man. This Woman is the one who gets his “MOJO” & “SEXY” Back! She gets him out of the house, takes him on trips, dates, they start to enjoy life together like he maybe never has before. She makes him feel wanted and significant again in a Woman’s life.


3. The Good Single Mom – In a lot of cases, A Divorced Man is not only dealing with being “Divorced” from his Ex Wife, but all of a Sudden, he’s a “Single Father” as well. Sometimes while visiting with his kids and taking them places, he’ll run into Good Single Moms in the same situation as him, raising kids without a partner and they understand each other struggles as Single Parents. This Woman does not have time for any foolish Men around her kids, but likes seeing a Man who is already great with kids, who could be a great Man to her own kids. The Divorced Man feels the same, as he would love to have companionship and another opportunity of having a family atmosphere again.


No Man ever desires to remain single after a divorce, but a Divorce does make a Man more cautious at times about the next Woman he brings into his life. LADIES, DON’T BE DESPARATE OR OVERBEARING! That Divorced Man is newly single and possibly hasn’t dated in years and doesn’t possibly even remember how to date a Woman. If you’re interested in him, TREAD LIGHTLY! Be a friend and be that Man’s friend for as long as he needs you to be. If he’s interested in you, he’ll make it known to you. Just make sure he’s healed from his past divorce so that he can love you the way you deserved to be loved as a Woman. READ…SHARE…LOVE!


Thanks J.T.!! I have a couple things I want to say about this. First of all, “The I’m sorry” and the “I told you so” women really bug me, but what’s wrong with #3  (The “I’m so happy he’s single woman?!”) What’s wrong with letting someone buy you gifts and cook for you? And, isn’t it nice that she has always loved you?! I would think (if she’s cute) that men would love this. Some men loved to be adored and appreciated after possibly being treated not so nicely during their marriage, right?

Regarding the women that the divorced man desires, I agree with all of these, and I think that these are commonalities that can really bring divorced people together. Thanks for the insight J.T.!!


John Turner, M.S. resides in Indianapolis, IN and is a Model, Author, Educator, Speaker, & Teacher to the Masses about Living a Life of Excellence & Success. Check out His Book – The Art Form of P.A.S.S.I.O.N. You can purchase your copy on Amazon.com.


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    Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

    Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

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