A friend of mine sent me this meme, where you search for words, and the first four you happen to see are supposed to be your focus for 2021. Now, the thing is, I would rather choose my own four words when it comes to what I want for my life in 2021, in other words, my goals for 2021. But I said, okay, I’ll play. As a divorced person, what are your goals for 2021? Try the meme!
The four words I saw first were:
Connection, Creation, Miracles and Family.
No, I’m not going to connect with someone, get pregnant and have another baby! Here is how I interpreted my four words. Maybe they will have some meaning for you, too, as goals for 2021.
I’d say “family,” meaning my kids, my boyfriend, my mom, sisters, brother, and their families has always been my highest priority, so why would that change in 2021? It wouldn’t. Among my goals for 2021 are: spending time with family, having gratitude for my family, helping my family, showing them love and support, and being there for them for whatever they need.
Although a child was the first thing that came to mind for me when I saw the word creation, I started to think about another creation that is creation is one of my goals for 2021. Over the past several months, I’ve been working on something that is a surprise for my readers for 2021: The Divorced Girl Smiling app.
I’m launching it at the end of January and it’s going to be amazing! There will be lots of features on it that aren’t on Divorced Girl Smiling, features aimed to help men and women going through a divorce. The Divorced Girl Smiling app will be like carrying around a little friend with you on your iPhone that is there for you anytime—day or night, to help you become empowered, inspired and connected! How’s that for a creation?!
Another one of my goals for 2021 is to connect (in person) with all of my dear friends and family members who I’ve been unable to see because of COVID. I am so looking forward to the vaccine kicking in and life getting back to normal, when people can truly connect, touch each other, shake hands, kiss, hug, and not live in fear. Maybe connection is more of a prayer for me than it is a goal for 2021.
If there was ever a time when a miracle is needed, it is now. I am so focused on the vaccine working, the pandemic going away, businesses opening back up, people getting back to work, and most importantly, the health—both physically and emotionally of people living post- pandemic. This is also a prayer, rather than a goal, but it is obviously a focus for me.
More goals for 2021
After I got my 4 words, I decided to scan the meme again and try to find some more words, so that I could offer my thoughts on how these might pertain to your goals for 2021 if they are words you found. (Spoiler alert ahead: If you haven’t done so already, you might want to do the meme before reading any further.)
There is no doubt that money has been a huge issue for countless people this past year. The job losses, closed businesses and fewer work opportunities due to the pandemic are tragic. A wonderful goal for 2021 could be to continue to support local businesses, help people find jobs if you are able, and give back financially to those who need help. Or, it might be to make more money for yourself through a career change or even getting a job if that’s what you decide.
Breakthrough to me right now means one thing: the COVID-19 vaccine. Yes, the pandemic is the devil; absolutely devastating when it comes to loss of life, jobs, and quality of life. But again, I pray that in 2021, the vaccine will put an end to the suffering that Coronavirus has caused. If it works, this will truly be a breakthrough like we’ve never experienced.
Try to remember that every single one of us has some kind of power. Power might come from a prestigious job, physical strength, or ownership of something. But the best kind of power comes from the heart, and that’s the kind of power that every single person has, no matter what.
We all have the power to change what we don’t like about ourselves, our lives, and the world (even if in a small way.) The tricky part is coping with lack of control and accepting the things we can’t control. The key is taking advantage of your power—what you CAN control, which leads into the next word I found:
Change is one of the scariest things a person faces. Think about how uncomfortable change is for people, how hard it is to change a habit. People are so resistant to change. Then look at how much we all had to make changes this year because of the pandemic. And guess what? We all did it. We didn’t like it but we adapted. We quarantined, we wore masks, we social distanced, we ordered out.
My point is, change is hard, but you can handle it. You’re smart and strong. It takes courage to cope with change. It takes discipline to cope with change. and, it takes creativity and patience to cope with change.
Just try to remember the difference in what you can change and what you can’t. You can’t change that your ex decided to divorce you, but you can change how you want your life to be moving forward. You can’t change how your kids are reacting to your divorce, but you can be there for them. You can’t change the girlfriend you thought was your best friend who stopped being your friend, but you can change learning how to let the right people into your life–people who are trustworthy and healthy for you. And, you can’t change when the pandemic will end and when you can start really dating again, but you can learn to enjoy dating remotely in the meantime. If you accept what you can’t change and change what you can, you cannot lose. Seriously.
I think we all learned the importance of self-care in 2020. We all started taking our health more seriously when COVID started, taking vitamin D and C and Zinc, exercising more, sleeping more, more yoga and relaxation all for the purposes of staying healthy and fighting off COVID if God forbid we got it.
Self-care is not only important for physical health, but for quality of life, as well. Self-care also means giving yourself the privilege of enjoying things in life. If you want new makeup, go get some (and I’d highly recommend getting it here!). If you need to talk to someone, invest in a therapist, if you need a day off of work, take it. Self-care makes you a better person, a happier person and a person who is more resilient during life’s challenges.
Everyone on earth has a purpose—many, many purposes, actually. Your life purpose or purposes might change over and over again, or it might be the same forever. Maybe you are here to have babies, to change the world in some wonderful way—large or small, to impact other people’s lives, to enjoy yourself, or to give back to others, or to contribute to a great cause.
Some of our purpose is known to us, and some, only God knows—we never find out. Purpose can also mean drive, determination, persistence, or dedication. So, ask yourself, do I have purpose going into 2021? What do I really want to achieve? What do I deserve to achieve? What do I need to be happy, and feel successful and/or at peace?
Ah. My favorite word in the world.
I’m actually shocked I didn’t see this word in the meme right away. Love is perhaps my biggest goal for 2021, as it is every year. I strive to spread as much love as possible in this world that I find so challenging and hard, at times, through the words I write, this website (and my new app) and the actions I take every single day to make as many people—both personally and on a larger platform feel good.
A random text or phone call to an old friend, a handwritten note, a gift, a donation, an article, or an “I love you” to someone who needs to hear it. I urge everyone to add love to your goals for 2021, because truly there can never, ever be too much of it, and hopefully an abundance of love helps drown out the ugliness of illness, pain, loneliness and fear.
I want to wish all my readers a very very happy new year that includes health, wellbeing, peace and of course, love.