Anyone who is dating over 40 will attest to the fact that it can be really challenging for many reasons. These include anything from juggling kids’ schedules to the insecurities and fear that come with divorce and just being older, in general.
Below is the first “vlog” (video blog) in my new video blogging series, “Divorced Girl Reporting,” in which I will ask OTHERS to offer divorce and dating advice, rather than just giving my own.
- Listen to your gut feeling. If you see a red flag, pay attention. You’re over 40 so your gut should be good by now!
- Don’t put pressure on yourself to meet your husband. Realize that there are so many diff kinds of partners, and you don’t necessarily have to focus on dating someone you think you are going to marry. Maybe you just want a traveling buddy or someone you want to live with or even marriage, but keep in mind there are no rules. In other words, it’s OK to date for a different reason other than to find a husband.
- Take it slow. Things don’t have to happen quickly. Take your time regroup, rethink, maybe even reevaluate what you’re looking for. And on dates, really get to know the person.
- Do a background check. In this day and age, with social media (like Facebook and LinkedIn) and Google searches, it’s easy to get information about the person. There are liars out there who will say they are divorced when in fact they are still married. (Not just separated, but really married.) And, people often mislead others about other things, such as their career.
- Be yourself. We tend to think we have to be what someone wants. Just be yourself, know what you want, and let someone love you for who you really are. That is the definition of real love.
- Consider his/her relationship with their kids. If it’s good and they are close and in tune with what their kids are up to, that’s great. If they are not, that raises a red flag.
- Don’t settle. You’re beautiful and smart and you know what you want. What I mean by that is, one of the benefits of dating over 40 is that we most likely already fell for the frogs. Listen to your gut, don’t ignore red flags, and do not settle for anything that is less than perfect. Of course, every relationship and every person has flaws, but you know in your heart what the biggies are. Don’t compromise. Ever again.