49 Reasons to be Inspired by Dating, Getting Older and Yes, Your Divorce

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

Today is my birthday. My 49th birthday. So, in honor of my last year in my forties, I’d like to give you—my readers a gift. Actually, 49 gifts. Here are 49 reasons to be inspired by dating, getting older and yes, your divorce. The reasons are kind of like candles to make wishes on. So, after I list them, I will blow them out in your honor. May all of these inspiring thoughts touch your life in some way!

    • You are so much smarter than you were as a 20 something idiot.
    • If you haven’t seen it, watch the movie, “Silver Linings Playbook.” It will make you laugh, cry and feel great for a month.
    • You’re not just divorced, you are also free to have the life you want. Whether you choose to grab it is your decision.
    • Older men are better in bed than younger guys.


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    • Your children are becoming the amazing people you’ve worked so hard to raise.
    • True friends never judge. They are loyal and will catch you when you fall.
    • Want to laugh nonstop? Watch Family Guy. Don’t pretend you are offended by it.
    • You are never too old to find love.
    • Older, wise people are able to see inner beauty so much easier than younger people.
    • Only someone over 40 can pull out some Billy Joel CD’s and just sit there and sing and enjoy.
    • He is your past. YOU are your future.
    • Can we talk Barnaby’s pizza? That crust!
    • Yoga will change your life. No eye rolling please. I’m totally serious.
    • One of my best friends just went back to school to get her college degree. She is 49.
    • Rent the first 3 seasons of “Homeland” before season 4 starts next month!
    • Believe it or not, someday your ex will miss you (if he or she doesn’t already.) You’ll just never know about it.
    • Listen to the song “Talk Dirty to Me” and dance around your house like a belly dancer. You’re sexy!
    • Treat yourself to a few material things. What are you waiting for?!
    • Our parents didn’t have Viagra or Botox.
    • If you are lucky enough to still have them, never stop learning from your parents. Talk to them about the past and listen to their stories.


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    • Being afraid of technology only holds you back. Face it head on and think nothing of it.
    • No one ever regretted taking the high road—even to their ex.
    • If you help someone in business, don’t expect them to return the favor. It doesn’t matter. The good karma will come around and someone else will help you.
    • I have a friend whose husband left her after 27 years of marriage. She was shocked and devastated but has traveled to Israel, China, Spain, and Peru—places her ex never wanted to go. She also ran a marathon. She is 54.
    • If you’re ever feeling down, go to a mall or a park and look at babies. Each one is a miracle.
    • A friend of mine works at a hospice center talking to patients about angels.
    • There is no law against buying an expensive box of chocolates for yourself and having as much as you want.
    • Is there a better feeling than accomplishment that came from your hard work and determination?
    • Block Nine Pinot Noir. Yum.
    • Thank God everyday for your health. That’s not a cliché. Trust me.
    • Blood is really really strong. Your family will be there for you. Take them up on it.
    • I can’t think of a better afternoon than watching The Godfather and The Godfather II.
    • I bet you’ve never thought about buying yourself flowers.
    • Women really appreciate compliments from other women. Even women they don’t know.
    • You’ll never meet anyone sitting on your couch. Don’t say no to nights out with friends or blind dates.
    • In the Jewish religion, visiting the sick is one of the best good deeds you can do.
    • Same with helping someone find a job.
    • Cuddling. Better than sex sometimes.
    • I hate the pressure of holidays. Any day can be a holiday if you make it special.



  • It’s normal to be afraid of relationships after divorce, but at some point, you have to take a chance.
  • Joakim Noah. Adorable and endearing. Really fun to watch.
  • Should you have a birthday that brings you into a new decade, you better take advantage and have a huge party, take a trip, or do something really cool. You don’t get too many of those.
  • Volunteering will bring you self-esteem and self-love like you’ve never known before.
  • It’s ok to think about happy times with your ex. You might hate him now, but there was a time you loved him.
  • Faith is a really really good thing. Doesn’t matter what religion you are. It’s all good.
  • The only people who don’t get over their divorce are those who refuse to stop playing the victim.
  • Have you ever smelled a baby’s head after his or her bath? It’s a smell you never ever forget.
  • Worry about money doesn’t help the situation. Doing something about it does. Know the difference.
  • Finding happiness after divorce isn’t a possibility, it’s a probability.
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Jackie Pilossoph

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

12 Responses to “49 Reasons to be Inspired by Dating, Getting Older and Yes, Your Divorce”

  1. Anonymous

    Amazing list! I would have probably called bs on this list 2 years ago. Now I know that divorce isn’t the end of my life, just the end of my past life. I am slowly learning to take control of my happiness. Thanks for a slew of new measures to help me do so!

  2. Ansley West

    This is sage advice for people who are in their 40s and divorced. There are so many things to enjoy and look forward to!

  3. etboces

    Thank you for your great advice. I can relate with woman whose spouse left her after 27 years of marriage. I have the same story but I decided to pursue a happy ending. Made my bucket list and enrolled in graduate school and the gym. Feeling good about myself.

  4. Lena

    Hello! First ever visit, first blog read here. And I subscribed immediately based on this alone. I adore this list. I adore the acknowledgement of the anger, the serious celebration of the freedom, and the message of the brightness of the future. Fun list! This sort of multifaceted message is exactly what I was seeking tonight. I emailed my old beloved counselor asking for her to take me on again so I can deal with this crazy divorce anger… but I also want to focus on the hopeful, powerful, positive aspects of my new-found freedom. I am so ready to move on and already you have helped me. I am so grateful to have found you! PS… I also just downloaded Divorced Girl Smiling onto my Kindle. Looking forward to reading it. 🙂

  5. Lacey

    Thank you for this list. I’m 29 with four kids recently separated. It is very encouraging.

    • Jackie Pilossoph

      Best best best wishes! It’s not easy. Stay strong and love those kids with all your heart!

  6. Jana

    Thanks for your positive thoughts! I was divorced after 29 years, out of the blue. I thought my life was over! Now I have traveled, I lead a women’s social group, swim, play Pickleball, and have a part-time job. It takes time to rebuild a life but it can be whatever you want it to be!


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