10 Ways of Dealing with Marriage Separation Pain

dealing with marriage separation pain

By Natalie Maximets, Certified Life Transition Coach

No matter the reason why you’re getting divorced, dealing with marriage separation pain is an extremely painful and nerve-wracking experience for any person. This process can trigger a variety of negative emotions, such as frustration, powerlessness, anger, denial, confusion, and even relief, all of which are entirely normal and understandable.

In dealing with marriage separation pain, you may feel completely alone and confused about building your future life. Fortunately, these emotions lessen with time. All you have to do is try to accept the situation and continue living a fulfilling and happy life as best you can.

Here are 10 tips for dealing with marriage separation pain, and for getting your life back on track:

1. Let Yourself Grieve

Dealing with marriage separation pain typically takes lots of time, as you are losing a complete way of life. In turn, to start the healing process, you will have to mourn the loss. So, don’t be afraid of tears, sadness, and grieving. Try to find a trusted person who will allow you to cry without trying to “fix” it for you. 

If there’s no person to count on when you need a shoulder to cry on, think about other ways to release your emotions. For example, you can throw something soft (like balled-up socks or a roll of toilet paper) against a bare wall, channel your feelings into the song, or write a journal. Do not try to hide your feelings and pretend everything is fine.

2. Give Yourself a Break From Dating

Another recommendation on how to cope with a marriage breakup is to allow yourself a break from dating. Many divorced people jump into new romantic relationships after barely finishing the previous one. It can be explained by the desire to escape from reality and distract from the pain caused by divorce.

If you do not process your feelings and dive into new relationships too soon, you’re likely to carry the baggage of past problems with you. The idea of finding someone new may be exciting, but take time to do the things you love and learn what a healthy relationship looks like for you before getting romantically involved with somebody new.

3. Talk to Your Children

If you have children, keep in mind that they also don’t know how to handle the marriage separation of their parents. Make sure to talk to them and explain that the divorce is not their fault. And assure them of your unconditional love with minimal changes.

The thing is, marriage dissolution is a period when all parties involved need support from each other. Thus, it can be considered a perfect time to strengthen family relationships by creating new parent-child rituals and engaging in the same activities.

4. Socialize with Family and Friends 

Dealing with marriage separation pain alone is not the best way to enter a new chapter of life. Surround yourself with supportive family members and trusted friends who can help you transition smoothly from married to single life. Simply go out for dinner, play board games, or ride a bike with people who value and energize you.

Spending time with people who have been through painful breakups or divorces is especially important. They will give you some recommendations on how to overcome divorce and regain balance in your life.

5. Pay Attention to Self-Care

There is no better time to take better care of yourself than after a divorce. Think about simple health habits worth adopting into your life. For instance, drink at least 2 liters of water every day, meditate, add more fruits and vegetables to your diet, and sleep 7-8 hours per night.

When it comes to dealing with divorce emotions, sports play an essential role. Start by walking for 30 minutes per day and adding more sports activities to your routine, such as swimming or playing tennis. Exercising increases endorphins, dopamine, adrenaline, and endocannabinoid, significantly relieving stress and making people feel happy and confident.

6. Find New Hobbies

One more crucial tip on how to get over a separation and move on is finding new hobbies. People with hobbies are less likely to suffer from stress, low mood, and depression, which is why spending time on an activity that you enjoy significantly helps with coping with divorce and separation.

For example, to bring a sense of fun and freedom to life after marriage dissolution, consider activities such as gardening, scrapbooking, drawing, and knitting. A stress-relieving hobby helps offset any tension or worry associated with the breakup.

7. Avoid Unnecessary Arguments

All partners argue occasionally, but couples getting through a separation tend to argue even more. The inability to reach an agreement with your ex can make the whole divorce process even more complicated for both parties.

So, if you wonder how to get over a divorce emotionally, start by avoiding arguing with the ex. For example, you can keep your distance and use the radio silence technique. If you share a living space, try to stay in a spirit of compromise and shift your focus to positive things.

8. Go on a Trip

Another helpful recommendation on how to deal with separation in a relationship is taking vacation time. Today, traveling can be considered one of the best ways to take your mind off stressful situations, such as divorce. The simple act of “getting away from it all” can alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression that most people who are dealing with separation experience. 

Whether you like the beach or adventurous vacations, plan a trip and take yourself out of your daily routine. It doesn’t matter if you go on a trip alone or with other people. The main point is to reset your body and mind.

9. Avoid Dangerous and Self-Defeating Coping Behavior

When people don’t know how to survive a divorce emotionally, they will likely engage in dangerous and self-defeating coping behavior. Often, divorcing spouses use drugs, alcohol, gambling, or promiscuous sexuality as a means of coping with pain or loneliness.

If you think this kind of behavior is the best way to deal with divorce, there is some bad news for you. It might be a good solution for removing pain in the short term. However, this kind of behavior can lead to many more complications in the long-term perspective. Eventually, it can result in injuries, violence, liver disease, and cancer.

10. Look for Divorce Counseling

The last important tip on how to survive separation and divorce is asking for psychological help. This type of therapy helps couples address conflict in their relationships and gives both parties the closure they need to move on. Besides, seeking help through divorce counseling is an effective method to make your separation more amicable and help avoid conflicts.


There is no one-size-fits-all solution for people struggling with divorce who are concerned about its effects on their future. Each case is unique, but the recommendations outlined above can considerably help you heal. Once you know how to deal with divorce pain, you’ll be able to embrace a fresh start and begin a new chapter in life gracefully.

Natalie Maximets is a certified life transformation coach and a freelance writer at OnlineDivorce.com with expertise in mindfulness and sustainability. She is a published author focused on the most progressive solutions in the field of Psychology. Natalie is proficient in CBT, REBT, Trauma Recovery, Mindfulness Meditation, Storytelling, and Wilderness Therapy.

Like this article? Check out, “Coping with Divorce: The Times You Feel Like You Just Got Punched”


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