What makes a man want to get married? Just like divorced women, divorced men are wounded. It’s very obvious to me in the divorced men I have met over the years. They want to be loved, (whether they realize that or not), they want to be treated with kindness, they want to feel appreciated, and they want to feel like they are still capable of being in a healthy relationship.
All that said, divorced men don’t want to be smothered. They don’t want a needy woman who is demanding. And, they don’t want to feel obligated to do anything. Some divorced men want to fall in love right away, and some want to take their time, but I think what most of them have in common is that they don’t want to the relationship to be hard. If it is, they have less of a tolerance for it and it might be easier to walk away.
But when a man meets a woman he falls for, what’s the difference in those who end up proposing and those who never do? Timing, a man’s decision to never marry again, perhaps? Or, maybe finances? The decision not to have any more children? A comfortable lifestyle? Religion? There are many reasons a man might decide he doesn’t want to be married again.
But what makes a man want to get married?
Here are 9 things I think answer that question:
1. When his girlfriend doesn’t talk about the future.
“Where is this going?” “What are we doing?” “Do you think I’m the one?” No divorced guy wants to be asked these questions. He has no clue as to what the answers are. He just knows he just got divorced and can only handle the present for right now. So, women who enjoy the relationship for today and talk only in present terms are the ones who end up getting the guy to commit to marriage. Men who feel like they can breathe and get to the future are more likely to want to get married.
2. When he has space.
A divorced guy recently got out of a long term relationship (his marriage.) He doesn’t need a girlfriend that he has to call every two minutes, or that he feels obligated to go out with every Saturday night. He might want to spend time with some of his guy friends, or even more so, his children.
3. When he’s having fun.
Chances are, the last few months (or years) of his marriage weren’t fun. He probably can’t remember the last time he had a good time. He might enjoy going to cool restaurants, an interesting museum, a concert, or on a fun trip.He needs to feel like the relationship is refreshing.
4. When he’s not being nagged.
Excessive nagging leads to getting dumped. Fast. No divorced man wants to marry a woman who is constantly telling him what he can and can’t do, badgering him about the things he does wrong and the bad habits he has. A guy who feels accepted is more likely to want to tie the knot.
5. When he’s shown affection.
With divorced guys, there’s a fine line when it comes to how much affection they want to be shown. Divorced men want to be adored. They want cheek kisses and hand holding and hugs and an arm around them at times. They’ve most likely had a lack of those things for awhile. On the other hand, they don’t want to be smothered. They don’t want a woman plopping herself down on his lap and making out at the dinner table at a fancy restaurant. Somewhere in between platonic-like touching and mauling makes a divorced guy happy and committal.
6. When there are no games.
Divorced men aren’t into games. They want to know if a woman likes them. If he calls his girlfriend, he wants her to call right back. If he texts, he wants a text right back. He doesn’t want the games. I don’t believe divorced guys get scared as much as they did before marriage. They like commitment. On the other hand, if the woman starts calling him her soul mate, starts texting him every five seconds, and talks about the details of their future wedding, he will most likely run.
7. When he doesn’t feel pressure to spend time with your kids.
He’s trying to spend time with his own kids, who he sees so much less than he did when he was married. Why should he feel pressured to be with his new girlfriend’s kids? It’s not personal.
8. When he is treated with kindness.
Chances are, when the guy was married, his wife wasn’t very nice to him. I’m not faulting her, by the way. Whatever the situation was, at the end of the marriage, she was most likely anything but sugary sweet. So, divorced guys need sweet. They like nice, thoughtful gestures; a card, a homemade dinner, a little gift. Thoughtful gestures make people feel important, respected, adored, and loved.
9. When his partner is focused on her career.
There is nothing sexier to a man than a woman who loves her career, who has a passion for her work, and who goes to her job everyday with enthusiasm. It takes the pressure off of the relationship, because he knows the woman has a life outside of him. It also fosters respect and admiration.
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