Two Words For Those Looking For Love

looking for love

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

In this week’s Love Essentially, I offer advice to those looking for love. I’ll spoil it and tell you that the two words are authenticity and vulnerability. Both of these things are key in finding true happiness in a romantic relationship. When people really want to find love, or they want to try to make it work with someone they know isn’t really the right person, they can sometimes compromise their authenticity. Also, a truly meaningful romantic relationship is one where both people aren’t afraid to be vulnerable. I’ve had both kinds of relationships, and I can tell you that even though it’s scary to show vulnerability, the payoff is wonderful!!

The Art Of Love Requires Authenticity, Vulnerability

by Jackie Pilossoph for Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press

One of my favorite summertime events is Art At The Glen Town Center, a Glenview art show where artists set up tents and display and sell their work. The art includes paintings, photography, jewelry, ceramics and furniture.

What I’ve always found so interesting about shows like this is that people walk around browsing casually, often without giving anything too much thought. For the artists however, the contents of their booths equate to a lifelong passion, a treasured dream they are realizing, and in most cases, their livelihood. In other words, artists put their souls on the table for everyone to see. They are proud. They are excited. They are happy. But, they must also be fearless in showing their vulnerability.


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Click here to read the rest of the article, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press.

Like this article? Check out, “Relationship Advice: Don’t Settle for A Knockoff When You can Have A Real Prada!”



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    Jackie Pilossoph

    Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

    Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

    One Response to “Two Words For Those Looking For Love”

    1. Greg Dean

      I 100% agree that vulnerability is a vital key in a healthy relationship.

      Now, I cannot speak for previous generations, but many guys, including myself, experience a society of much more masculine women; That is, women with very masculine entities. They are extremely independent, they tend to have less grace and connection to the feminine.

      And guys, like myself, are protectors. Our urge is to love and protect. Yet, (And here I go, from the 100’s of forums I have read for guys who struggle with love and connection) guys do not feel that protective urge with todays generation of women, on a whole. The feeling simply is not there. I cannot even put my finger on exactly what it is that I see missing. But I can only say that MANy guys just do not feel that protective feeling they normally would, and have grown up feeling. There truly is an imbalance in the polarity between the genders that is needs to be balanced, if love and connection is important to us.

      Men want more masculine men, but society is feminising us and building a culture of women who will outwardly say they do not need men, when they actually do.

      If I could see that vulnerability in women (And sometimes I do), I would feel needed, wanted and attracted.

      Great article.


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