The Damage of Fighting In Front Of The Kids

fighting in front of the kids

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

Everyone knows fighting in front of the kids is bad. Yet, many couples–both married couples and couples who are divorced do it. Why do we do it? Not because we want to hurt our children, but Because when emotions are running high, and people just can’t think clearly. 

In this week’s Love Essentially, I interview therapist, Lisa Blumberg on reasons you shouldn’t fight in front of your kids, what to do if you’ve already done so, and what you should do in front of your kids that will benefit them greatly in the long run.

Reasons You Shouldn’t Fight In Front Of Your Kids

By Jackie Pilossoph for Chicago Tribune Media Group

Relationship conflict is inevitable. Even couples who have the happiest, healthiest relationships disagree and argue. But there’s big difference between productively and calmly discussing an issue versus engaging in an angry, hostile shouting match. What’s even worse is when heated battles occur in front of the kids.


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Lisa Blumberg is a North Shore-based licensed clinical social worker, who works with individuals and couples, and offers parent guidance. Blumberg said it’s perfectly acceptable to disagree in front of the kids. In fact, if the conversation remains calm and respectful, kids might not even realize you are in a disagreement. But if and when that conversation starts to escalate and become emotional, that’s when it’s wise to take a pause and save it for a later time, or take the fight elsewhere.

“The concept of ‘The kids are upstairs. They won’t hear’ is false. They hear,” said Blumberg, who holds a master’s degree in social work and who has been in practice for nine years. “Even if the kids are really young and they don’t understand the content, they feel the volume and tone.”


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Here are Blumberg’s reasons you shouldn’t fight in front of your kids:

1. The kids might feel insecure and unsafe. (Click here to read the rest of the article, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and several other newspapers across the U.S.)

Like this article? Check out, “8 Reasons Your Ex is Angry and Hateful Towards You”



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    Jackie Pilossoph

    Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

    Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

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