Lies in a Relationship: 25 You Might Have Heard or Told

lies in a relationship

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

Everyone lies. Let’s face it. Little white lies are told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, lies are told to make things easier, and sometimes people lie and they don’t even know why they lied. The other day, I was having lunch with a girlfriend who was complaining that she hadn’t heard from a guy she went out on a date with a few times. I asked her what she thought the reason was that he hasn’t called or texted, and her answer sparked the idea for this article about lies in a relationship.

“He said he’s really busy with work right now,” she rationalized. “Plus, he’s going out of town.”

 

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Just then, I realized that my sweet, naive girlfriend was a victim of lies in a relationship — that little white lie told to sugarcoat the truth, which in this case means that, for whatever reason, he’s not interested in getting together with her.

Later that night, I decided to write down a few more lies in a relationship and lines I’ve heard or heard about in relationships.

Here are 25 lies in a relationship:

 

1. Sorry I haven’t called. Work has been crazy.

Remember that movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You”? This is what comes to mind when I hear a man or woman say this. Like the movie and book say, if someone wants to see you, he’ll make time, no matter what’s going on in his life.

2. I’m fine.

This is one of those lies in a relationship that is mostly told by a woman when she is quiet and her spouse asks “What’s wrong?” She definitely isn’t fine. In fact, she is so upset she wants to scream and shout and tell the spouse why. So why doesn’t she? Because she wants him to keep asking. She’ll usually come clean after 3 or 4 “I’m fines.”

 

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3. It didn’t go any farther than texting.

This relationship lie is told when a person discovers a text conversation between their spouse and another man (or woman.) The spouse then begs forgiveness. The problem is, in my opinion, nine times out of ten the person actually cheated.

4. The number of people someone has slept with.

If someone finds shame in the number of sexual partners they have had, they will lessen the number to their spouse. By the way, I’m not judging at all, just saying, people lie about this.

5. Gambling losses.

Is there any explanation needed?

6. I’m thinking about how much I love you.

This is a lie told by men after sex. According to a male friend of mine, he said what a guy might really be thinking is, ‘Is the new Bears coach going to work out?’

7. Age, weight, height, income.

Men and women sometimes lie about these things on a dating app or site, or at the beginning of a relationship.

8. I’m just not ready for a relationship.

This is a lie that means, “I’m not interested in going out with you again.”

9. I love your family.

This relationship lie is for couples who are really trying to make the other happy. In relationships, in-laws can be incredibly difficult. “I love your family,” can also be said sarcastically, or as a joke, or with sincerity.

10. I’m like two minutes away.

I once had a boyfriend who would become furious if we were meeting at a restaurant at a certain time and I was late (which happened often.) So, I would tell this lie. Of course, nowadays, if you and your spouse have each other on Life360, telling this lie is unproductive.

11. I never said that.

This is what people say when they know they said something they shouldn’t have. They sometimes even believe their own lie.

12. Money isn’t important to me.

Really? This is something everyone says, and some people mean it while others are lying. It is a person’s actions which prove if this was a lie or not.

 

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13. Number of drinks a person has had.

Not really sure why people lie about this, unless there are addiction issues, or God forbid, the person who has been drinking wants to drive.

14. I really hope we can be friends and I’m not just saying that.

One of two reasons for this lie. Either the person really thinks they mean it, or they are just saying it to cushion the blow of the breakup. Either way, you can’t be friends with an ex until some time has passed. Then, I think it is entirely possible.

15. I can’t get together, I have the kids that night.

This relationship lie is one of the few benefits of being divorced. How perfect is it to have this excuse?

16. Let’s get together after the holidays.

Someone said this to me one time in July. I’m not kidding. I was like, “Wait, after the fourth of July?” She meant Christmas and New Years. I almost burst out laughing because it was so insincere. This lie really means, I am in no rush to see you and don’t care if I ever do.

17. My phone died.

Translation: “I really didn’t feel like talking so I never called you.”

18. You emailed me? When? I never got it. Maybe it went into my spam folder.

Yeah, Okay.

19. You’re breaking up, I can’t really hear you. Hello? Hello?

Exit strategy for someone who desperately wants to get off the phone with the other person.

20. The price of women’s clothing, handbags, and/or shoes.

The best way to avoid conflict with your spouse is to reduce the price of material items when you know he would be horrified if he knew what you paid.

21. I was just about to call you.

This is what people say when they are embarrassed that they never returned a phone call and the person calls them.

22. I promise I won’t tell a soul…

Until I have one too many Sauvignon Blancs and can’t resist telling my girlfriends what I know.

23. This is the first time I can honestly say I’m over him (or her.)

Are you? Really? You can only say this one time, or it’s a lie. So pick that one time carefully.

24. I hate Facebook.

You don’t hate Facebook. You crave Facebook. It’s food for our curiosity, it’s entertaining, it can be funny, and it’s a great way to get information about people.

25. We both wanted the divorce.

Since this is never the case, in my opinion, saying it is a lie.

 

Like this article? Check out, 9 Signs of a Healthy Romantic Relationship

 

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Jackie Pilossoph

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

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