I’ve had several different careers over the course of my professional life. Most of the work has been challenging and enjoyable, some were easy and fun, a couple paid well but were unfulfilling, a couple paid horrible but were fun, and one job I had was unbearable, meaning I cried every morning because I didn’t want to go into the office. But there’s one job that is better than any other job I’ve ever had, and that is the job of being a mom. It pays the least (nothing) and it’s the hardest job of all, but it is the most fulfilling. I decided in honor of Mother’s Day, I’d write the job description for “mom.”
Job description for Mom
Job Title: Mom
Care for, discipline, teach, raise, guide, and nurture children. During the first few years, you will almost never be apart from the child. You will feed, bathe, and change the child, do his or her laundry and dishes, and keep the home tidy. If the baby is awake at night or needs changed, you will be required to assist. There are no exceptions. You also must be able to drive children to doctor’s appointments and participate in mommy and me at Gymboree.
As the child grows, the job entails driving the kid to and from school and other activities, including but not limited to music, art, drama and sports classes. You will also be required to plan and execute birthday parties each year, help with homework, teach him or her how to drive, wait up for him or her to come home late at night, implement consequences for irresponsible behavior when applicable, and offer emotional support for friendship and romance dramas that will most likely occur.
You must be willing to forgive party throwing when you are out of town, empty beer cans found in your home’s utility closet, multiple fender benders, catching the child fooling around with a boyfriend/girlfriend in your basement, the several $20 bills that are missing from your purse, and the first time your kid says “shut up mom, I hate you” to you.
The mom will act as a role model for the child, keeping in mind at all times that everything said and done is having an impact that will greatly affect how the kid turn out as an adult. In other words, the job entails leading by example every minute of every day.
Job hours and pay: The mom job is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with no sick days and limited vacation days unless you are willing to take the child on the vacation. Also, this job does not pay monetarily. In fact, the job entails the opposite–you pay for everything for the child from birth through college and possibly after.
Job Requirements: All applicants must have a valid driver’s license and skills in housekeeping, cooking, psychology and nursing. Experience in building Lego’s, assembling complicated toys and creating unique art projects is a plus. The job also requires immense patience and humility, especially since there will be no evaluations or feedback of your performance with the exception of negative comments from the child from time to time.
Additionally, applicants should be skilled in communication so that they can offer support and guidance to the child, teaching right from wrong, as well as how to respect, appreciate and treat others. Lastly, the job requires someone with unending energy, as there is very little or no downtime in this position. Not needing a lot of sleep is a plus. Lastly, the job requires unending patience and unconditional love.
So, why would anyone want to be a mom? The benefits!
Job benefits: The site of your baby will be so breathtakingly beautiful that you will take dozens of pictures every day, which you will show to anyone who is willing to look. You will laugh every day of your life, either because of something your child says or does, or because of the joy and giddiness kids bring to your soul.
Falling in love with your child will make you want to have more children, which many of you will. You will take your kids to really fun places and watch their expressions the first time they ride the merry-go-round, pick pumpkins, ride a pony, sit on Santa’s Lap, go on an airplane, or play in the snow.
Like a dog begging for crumbs, you will appreciate every ounce of love your children give back to you, starting from the time they learn to express their feelings all the way through adulthood, when they tell you, “Mommy, you’re my best friend.”
And even though the job so often seems thankless, especially when toddlers turn into teens, you will see things in your kids that will make you proud, like a really good report card, a thoughtful art project, or the way they treated a bullied classmate at school. It will make all your hard work and dedication feel worth it. You will also become best friends with your kids as they become adults, and you will be able to see the rewards from the kind of mother you have been. No one will make you laugh harder, and you will enjoy being around your kids so much more than you could ever have imagined.
Perhaps the most significant benefit of being a mom comes in realizing that through raising remarkable people, you have somehow made a difference in bettering the world. Talk about giving your life meaning.
Your kids will keep you young, lighthearted and fearless to the many worries life tends to bring.
I remember as a young mother fretting over my kids at times, and when I would call my parents they would always end the conversation by saying, “Enjoy them.” That is the best advice anyone can give to a mom. Why? Because each child is a unique and precious gift, meant to be savored each day, as you collect cherished moments that turn into treasured memories.
Happy Mother’s Day, Moms! You are beautiful, giving, loving and very much appreciated!
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