Dating a Coworker: Sexy & Fun if you Follow These Rules

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

It’s after 7pm. Everyone in the office has gone home for the day. All the lights are off except in your office where you sit at your desk meeting a deadline. All of a sudden, he appears in the doorway with a sexy smile. You are delighted to see him. His smile melts you and you know what is going to happen next. He shuts the office door, walks over to your desk, grabs you, throws you down on the desk and you proceed to have amazing sex. Isn’t this the scenario everyone envisions when you think about dating a coworker?

Dating a coworker is exciting and the secret the two of you have makes it really, really sexy. What’s funny, though, is that everyone in the office ultimately finds out about the inner office romance, which is either okay, or the couple ends up breaking up either because they realize the forbidden was the most fun part, or that dating a coworker is frowned upon at the company.

Author, Laura Chapman knows a lot about inner office romances. It’s part of the plot in her newly released novel, “Hard Hats and Doormats.” Read her guest post, “Navigating an Office Romance,” and hear the lessons she, as well as her main character in the book,Lexi have learned from dating a coworker! 


Navigating an Office Romance  by Laura Chapman

We spend a lot of time at our jobs. Is it any wonder some of us end up falling for a co-worker? In my debut novel, Hard Hats and Doormats, Lexi Burke works for a major chemical company on the Gulf Coast. Though she’s driven and focused on her career, she also has her sights on one of her sexy co-workers. As an HR manager, she knows the complications that can come from dating a colleague, but that doesn’t keep her from diving into a relationship – or making more than a few mistakes along the way.


I dated a few co-workers back in the day, and I’m sharing some of the lessons Lexi and I learned from our experiences.


Know your company’s policies. No matter how serious you are with the guy or girl, you should understand whether or not you’re even technically allowed to date. At Lexi’s company, workplace romances are discouraged, but have to be reported to your superior. At others, interoffice relationships are prohibited. If your employer won’t allow romances, understand you’ll have to work extra hard to keep your relationship under wraps. And if you ultimately decide you’ve found your one-and-only, it’s probable one or both of you will have to find new jobs.


Keep your hands, lips and other body parts to yourself. There’s something a little sexy about breaking the rules. Even at the most lax workplaces, sneaking a peck or a quickie in a janitor’s closet probably falls under the heading of “conduct unbecoming.” No matter how tempting it is to give into those impulses – especially in those early honeymoon days when you can’t keep your hands off of each other – do your best to wait until after hours.


Be careful about dating a subordinate or superior. The boss and the secretary is a set-up best suited for role-play. In real life, it can be grounds for dismissal or a sexual harassment lawsuit if the relationship sours.


Check your jealousy at the door. Whether it’s competing for the same promotion or one of you being paired with another office hotty for a special project, you can’t let it get in the way of your relationship. When you’re in a relationship, you have to be a cheerleader and advocate for your significant other. Don’t let work mess that up for you.


Find work-appropriate ways to spend time together. You were hired to do a job – not flirt at the copier or play kissy-face at the water cooler. Instead, enjoy your time together before and after work by car-pooling and grabbing breakfast or dinner together. Send each other a sexy message (on your personal text or email), but limit those to avoid getting in trouble. If you can’t stand the thought of going eight or nine hours without some face-time, try meeting up for lunch. That can mean splitting a sack lunch in the break room or sneaking out for a quick meal at a restaurant. Making these mini-dates will enable you to keep your focus while you work, and it will give you something to look forward to in the meantime.


And while it may seem like there are a lot of dos and don’ts, remember to have fun. A relationship should enhance your life, not make it more complicated. I’m a big believer in following your heart – even if your heart doesn’t always follow the rules in an employee manual.

I have to say, I had my share of office romances when I was younger, and while really, really, really fun and sexy, I had a huge heartbreaker at one point that made me NEVER dip my pen in the company ink. EVER AGAIN!

Thanks for the post, Laura! I haven’t read “Hard Hats and Doormats” yet, but I can’t wait! 

About the Author

Laura Chapman mixes her love of romance and humor as a women’s fiction blogger and author. Born and raised in Nebraska – in a city, not on a farm – she is a devoted fan of football, British period drama, writing in bars and her cats, Jane and Bingley. Hard Hats and Doormats is her debut novel.

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Jackie Pilossoph

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

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