Being Married: What We Miss And What We Don’t

being married

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

Being married can be wonderful. Even though I ended up divorced, I really really liked some things about being married. There are also some things that I truly truly do not miss about being married.

The list below was made by a good friend of mine and I, who after a couple glasses of wine decided to write down everything we missed about being married and everything we didn’t miss.

Here you go: What Two Women Miss about Being Married and What We Don’t Miss

 

What we miss about being married:

 

1. Falling asleep with my leg wrapped around his

2. Having someone to zip my dress for me

3. Knowing you’re with someone who made a serious commitment to you in front of God.

 

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4. Have someone to bounce off a bad day at work.

5. Having a date for every function

6. Family nights

7. Being called “Mrs. So and So.”

8. Having a designated driver if I drank too much

9. Having unprotected sex

10. Sending out a family Holiday card

11. Traveling as a couple

 

The Center for Divorce Recovery

 

12. Knowing certain things about him that no one else knew

13. Making love with the father of my children

14. His friends and family (most of them.)

15. His sense of humor and all the little things that only we would laugh at

16. The smell of his cologne

17. His foot rubs

18. Our own language

19. Feeling really secure, safe and loved

20. HIM

 

What we don’t miss about being married:

 

1. Picking up tons of dry cleaning

2. Cooking food I don’t like to eat

3. Having to have sex on-demand

4. Feeling like I did everything, including changing every poopie diaper and waking up for every middle of the night feeding

5. Cleaning up after him constantly

 

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6. His mail all over the counter

7. Having to watch what he wants every night or feeling guilty about watching what I want to watch

8. Bickering and arguments that usually turned into silent treatments

9. Having to hide tears

10. Having to hide shoes and other purchases

11. Not feeling loved or appreciated

12. Falling into the toilet bowl in the dark because the seat was up

13. Frequent obligatory get-togethers with his friends and family.

14. Him not wanting to be with my family and giving me a hard time about it.

15. Arguing about finances

16. Endless kitchen counter crumbs

17. Him tapping his razor on the sink every morning

18. Feeling inadequate, being criticized all the time

19. Not feeling really secure, safe and loved

20. HIM

Like this article? Check out, “9 Signs of a Healthy Romantic Relationship”

 

Buy novels by Jackie Pilossoph

 

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Jackie Pilossoph

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

7 Responses to “Being Married: What We Miss And What We Don’t”

  1. Doug, Chicago

    Jackie: Those are two extraordinary lists … List One: The transcendent experience of trust, respect and acceptance … the giddy feeling of having a true partner, a co-conspirator and a loving ally who provides a safe-zone for you to be vulnerable away from the battles of the outside world; List Two: The heart-brake of feeling the safe-zone weaken, break-down and give-way to those outside battles. Divorce is a difficult experience but your lists demonstrate an inspired level of maturity and appreciation for both the good and the bad of marriage … an advanced degree from the school of life that was hard-earned but prepared you well for your current adventures. Thank you for sharing it!

    Reply
  2. Maria

    Why does it still feel so weird and sad?
    My ex was a terrible husband yet I still have plenty of pain over this
    I feel so stupid because I wanted to leave yet here I am like a lost soul.

    Reply
  3. Caroline

    I really can’t say how much your blog has helped me. I thought that thinking that I missed so many things meant I “shouldn’t have” left, so I never let myself just feel sad about it. Nice to know I’m kinda normal 🙂

    Reply
  4. Page

    This coming summer I will have been divorced for 4 years……I think he got married again and in fact, married to one of his former residents….how cliché. I have had one b/f but I can’t trust anyone and as of late, I have been thinking I could live the rest of this life solo…..On one hand I want that relationship but base on experience, it’s like I desire something that really doesn’t exist. I have a lot of dogs….lol….

    Reply
  5. Bisha

    For the first time I am really smiling thinking of my divorce. I got divorced 7 years back and still couldn’t get over it. In fact I am divorced more longer being married.

    Reply

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