It took Megan Kerrigan a mere 48 hours to drop her married name on Facebook after her cheating husband at the Coldplay concert, Andy Byron, was caught. Can you blame her? The wife of the kiss cam cheater must be incredibly devastated, humiliated, and in a lot of pain, especially since they are public figures, not to mention the WAY she found out about the affair would be traumatic for anyone.
Well, I have a message for Kerrigan: YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS.
It might not seem like it, and you are headed down a roller coaster of a journey through separation and divorce that is anything but easy. What I will say is that countless women have been where you are and guess what? Most of them are thriving and happy and successful. So many of them also find love again, not that you want to think about that right now, but it’s true.
I personally have been cheated on, not by my ex-husband but by a long-time boyfriend and I can tell you that when you find out, even if you suspected it and knew in your gut he was cheating, there’s an element of shock. It seems unreal.
The first thought you might have had is, ‘How could I be so naïve and stupid? Am I the last to know?’ Please don’t go down this road. The cheating is NOT about you. If you missed the signs it’s because you didn’t want to see it because you have so much good in you that you didn’t want to believe it. You were busy being the wife of a corporate executive, making speeches at charity events, and of course being a mom. I bet you did everything to keep your family happy and healthy. Be proud of the fact that you can handle yourself with grace, knowing that no one is perfect, but you were a pretty damn good wife and mother. In other words this is NOT your fault.
Another emotion you might be feeling: humiliation. Well guess what? You have nothing to feel humiliated about. He and his girlfriend are the ones who should feel guilt and shame, not you. No one thinks anything less of you. Next, let’s get into the pain of the deception; the lies, the late night texts that he told you were work, all the nights you sat home watching Netflix and thinking ‘It’s OK, he’s a CEO, he’s working.’ I know that feeling. It’s awful and it feels infuriating.
Maybe you suspected something was going on, and maybe you felt disappointed with yourself for having those thoughts: ‘Why am I being so insecure?’ you might have asked yourself. Well, maybe now, knowing the truth has made you feel somewhat validated, and even relieved that you weren’t being paranoid.
Anger is the next emotion I want to address. Do you want to punch him? Do you want to scream at him, ‘How could you throw away our life and our family?!’ You have every right to feel angry and it’s helpful to express those feelings to your close friends, family and therapist. Then there’s pain, of course. That awful empty dreadful pain and sadness that the life you had is over. The future as you pictured it has completely changed. Comfort and security have turned into fear of the unknown. This can cause anxiety and panic and sleepless nights.
So, how do you deal with all of these emotions?
One minute and one day at a time. Your children need you, but you also need to take care of yourself. Cry as much as you need, let yourself be angry, and yes, you are entitled to self-pity and a victim mentality that screams “This is so unfair!” and “Why did God do this to me?!”
What you don’t know is that in the coming days and weeks and months, you will also experience some really amazing emotions, including hope, self-worth, empowerment, and yes, even joy. It is possible to experience moments of joy amidst the pain of sadness, anger and fear.
I don’t know you, Megan, and all I’ve seen is your Facebook picture, but here’s my take. Not only will you survive this terrible thing that happened to you, but you will live a happy post-divorce life, most likely realizing it’s a more authentic, meaningful life than you had with Andy.
There is so much opportunity and so many open doors ahead of you. As grief becomes less prominent and hope and empowerment start to take over, you’ll begin opening some of them. Change is really uncomfortable and really scary, and everything in your life is about to change. But change is a funny thing in that sometimes, unexpectedly, change turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. I can’t count the number of divorced women whose husbands cheated, who say or write to me, “Him cheating and leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
The Cheating Husband at the Coldplay Concert
As for your soon-to-be-ex, he had it made. He had a job he loved, a prestigious CEO position, more money than he ever dreamed of, and a loving wife and kids. To his detriment, that wasn’t enough for him, and because of that, it will cost him.
Andy will most likely lose half his assets in the divorce and begin paying alimony and child support. More significant, can you even imagine how hard it’s going to be for him to repair his relationship with his kids? Add the fact that he was forced to resign his position and is now jobless, and basically, he’s lost everything in a flash. I highly doubt that he and his kiss cam HR director woman will end up together.
I don’t wish anything bad for anyone, even cheaters, and believe it or not, there might be a time in the future when you feel sorry for him, but let’s face it. He got what he deserved and then some. Megan, you will get what you deserve, too: a happy life moving forward.
It will take time to get there, and it will take a lot of strength, courage, and patience, with so many bumps along the way, but you will get there. I don’t even know you, and I’m sure of it. I also believe you will find love again—this time with someone who isn’t a cheater. How do I know? Because I can’t count the number of women who have been where you are now, and months and years later, they email me and tell me they’re in love.
That cheating husband at Coldplay/kiss cam video is one of the top news stories right now, but it won’t be for long. Other news stories will take its place, and everyone will start to forget. Believe it or not, as time goes on, you will start to think about it less and less. The best advice I can give is, whenever you think about that video, immediately shift your thoughts to gratitude for what you have. I know it sounds like a cliché, but it’s a great habit because you are ridding your mind of toxicity and crowding it with goodness: your children, your health, your family and friends, and the hope that comes from having faith in God, and believing that you deserve peace and happiness. Your new life starts now. Get ready cause it’s gonna be great.
Like this article? Check out “The Most Valuable Asset You Have in Divorce”
It captures the rollercoaster of emotions betrayal brings—shock, humiliation, anger, grief—but also points toward something so many women forget in the storm: there is life after devastation. Megan’s experience is public, painful, and deeply unfair, but what stands out here is the fierce reminder that healing is possible—and not just healing, but thriving.
The advice to treat this like a grieving process, to feel every emotion without judgment, and to focus on rebuilding one step at a time, is powerful. So is the call to protect self-worth, to avoid taking on shame that doesn’t belong to you, and to anchor in gratitude even when the pain is fresh. Thank you for sharing not just empathy but experience. Women going through betrayal need more of this: truth, hope, and a clear-eyed view of what they can still build.