In my Love Essentially column for this week, published today in Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press, I decided to answer three reader questions: 1. From a guy seeking dating advice, who wants to how you can tell if a woman really likes you, 2. From someone asking how to affair-proof a relationship, and 3. A guy who wants to know how to tell his spouse that her recent weight gain is unattractive.
16 Signs She Digs You by Jackie Pilossoph
Jackie, how do you know if she really likes you?
This question warmed my heart and I am excited to help this guy get into the mindset of a woman by sharing just what the heck we are thinking!
So, here are 16 signs that she digs you:
1. Texts and phone calls are answered promptly.
2. She wears lipstick on your dates.
3. She asks you about YOU, seems genuinely interested and seems to care. “How is work?” “Tell me about your family.” “I want to hear a story about your past.”
4. She is interested in meeting your friends.
5. She smiles a lot around you.
6. She puts her phone away at dinner (unless she has young kids who might be calling her).
7. Saturday nights always work for her to get together.
8. She buys you a thoughtful gift, maybe a book she wants you to read or a plant for your house.
9. She offers to cook you dinner from time to time.
10. She talks about a future together. “Maybe we could go to Lake Geneva this summer.” “My cousin’s wedding is in June, I hope you’ll go with me.”
11. She rarely mentions her ex.
12. You’re walking down the street and she holds your hand.
13. She seems vulnerable, but confident, too.
14. She laughs at your jokes, even if they aren’t that funny.
15. If you have to go to the doctor, she offers to go with you.
16. The biggest sign: her kiss. It shouts, “I really like you.”
Is there any way to affair-proof a relationship?
I hear so many stories from men and women who explain that they were utterly shocked when finding out their spouse was having an affair. While I completely understand how that scenario could happen, I often wonder if the cheat-ee turned a blind eye, not letting himself (or herself) see the cheating because it was just too painful, or they were too afraid to confront it.
There are a few things couples can do to minimize the chance that their spouse will stray. First and foremost, communication is a huge component to a cheating-free marriage. Couples should be best friends, and we all know that best friends talk a lot. They open up, they share their inner most thoughts and feelings.
This way, if something is wrong, the other person can address it and the two can try to work things out before one goes looking somewhere else for comfort and/or happiness. Couples also need to nurture the romantic aspect of their relationship by going on kid-free dates and vacations together. A marriage is like a plant or a pet or even a child—it needs to be taken care of, with lots of attention. If it isn’t fed or cared for, it will die.
How do I tell my spouse that she has gotten extremely overweight and it is a turnoff?
This is a tough one. First of all, you don’t have to tell her she is overweight. She knows. Trust me. The question becomes, does she care? Click here to read the rest of my column, published today in Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press!