When I was getting divorced 15 years ago, divorce coaching wasn’t a thing. Wow, do I wish it had been. I was so lost, so intimidated by legal terms and the process, and scared of how I would make decisions under such stress.
A lot has happened in the divorce industry since, and divorce coaching is a huge industry. In my opinion, I think everyone going through a divorce needs a divorce coach—someone supporting you, answering your questions, and helping you empower yourself throughout the process and after.
Divorced Girl Smiling partner, Jenny Stevens is a really, really good divorce coach! Here is my Q & A with divorce coach and therapist, Jenny Stevens. I thought you could benefit from learning more. Also, if you want to work with Jenny, this is a great way to get to know her.
My Q & A about Divorce Coaching with Divorce Coach, Jenny Stevens
1. JP: What exactly is a divorce coach?
JS: A divorce coach is someone who helps you navigate divorce pre, during and post. Sometimes I think of myself as a concierge. No divorce is the same. Each client has different ranges of anxiety, needs and desires. I help them get from point A to point B and serve as their guide and support system. Divorce coaching can help you make decisions in a more grounded way because 90% of divorce is emotion. A coach will help you through this challenge. A coach can help you think forward and help you with all of the goals and different facets of divorce.
2. JP: How is coaching different than therapy?
JS: The two are distinctly different. Therapy invoices talking more about your past, what past decisions you have made, and looking at how you got here. Therapy is unpacking your past. Coaching is less about the past and all about the future and moving forward in a goal-oriented way. Coaching is not therapy, it’s like having a partner with you to help you make good decisions and walk away from your divorce armed with what you need in the next chapter of your life.
3. JP: What do you typically do and/or talk about in divorce coaching sessions?
JS: Every divorce coaching session is unique. In one session, we might talk about finding the right professionals for your divorce. In another session, we might be conversing to figure out what you want in your parenting plan. I also help clients by offering coparenting tips or helping you with what to say to the kids on why you’re getting divorced.
We can talk about how to tell kids about summer vacations or having two homes. I also prep my clients for mediation, specifically offering strategies around communicating in a healthy way with your ex, without anger. Another session might be focused on how to find happiness and joy, or about reframing your thoughts and changing your mindset. I try to help people understand that divorce isn’t always a loss. In fact, it can be a big gain. I’m not minimizing that divorce is life altering, but there is life after divorce, a wonderful life. Coaching is her to figure out how to get to a place where you can focus on the end result.
4. JP: What are the goals/benefits of divorce coaching?
JS: A divorce coach fills the gap between the law and the client. Divorce is 90% emotion. Clients do not want to pay their lawyer to listen to their emotional issues. A coach can cut through those emotions and help clients more grounded, so that they can get to the next step. A coach is almost like a mentor helping you move through the legal process so you can have an easier, less stressful experience and therefore a better outcome.
I’m open and honest with my clients. It’s hard to make difficult decisions when you are under an anxious brain. A coach can help you make more sound decisions. I help clients stay focused in dealing with challenges and achieving both short-term and long-term goals. A coach is someone you can trust, who can also provide suggestions and ideas. Coaching is practical advice. It’s not delving into your past, but rather focusing on now and in the days, weeks, months and years to come.
5. JP: Tell me about a typical client at the beginning of the coaching process as compared to how they are at the end of the process.
JS: Clients call me in a place where I’m lost and I don’t know where to begin. I’m overwhelmed and I need help and support. And at the end, they’ve accomplished and achieved their goals during the divorce process: perhaps a parenting plan, maybe the house, a financial plan. After divorce coaching, I find clients to be in a much better place with much less anxiety, a lot of relief, and a lot of excitement and optimism for the future.
Jenny Stevens, LCPC is a Divorce Coach and Therapist, who helps men and women navigate their lives pre, during and post divorce. With a masters degree in professional counseling and 15 years experience working as a therapist, Stevens personally went through a divorce and founded her company, Create Change Consultants during COVID; a time she felt many people were re-evaluating their lives and needed help designing a life they wanted and deserved.
Stevens brings a warm, inviting and unique style to interactions with her clients. She cares deeply about helping others and supporting her clients to make the changes that they have always wanted, but weren’t equipped with the right tools to make those changes. She lives in Chicago with her two daughters and her dog, and loves spending time with her family and friends, combining exercise and meditation to keep her balanced. Learn more on her website.
Read Jenny’s article: “The Top Reasons for Divorce and How to Cope with Each”