Thinking About Divorce? Here’s Something That Might Help

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If you and your spouse are thinking about divorce, I know it isn’t a decision that comes easily. I remember a therapist telling me that many couples split up and get back together several times before actually deciding divorce is the best option for them. The decision to get divorced is brutally painful and agonizing, and sometimes I feel like that was the one of the hardest parts of my whole divorce.

I recently found out about a process called discernment, which seems to be a great option for couples facing the dilemma of whether or not they should try to stay together or get divorced. Discernment is a form of therapy where couples don’t try to fix their problems, but instead go through a process that is designed to help them make the determination of which path to take. It is the subject of this week’s Love Essentially column, published in the Chicago tribune Pioneer Press.

Stay Together or Split? A Method to Help Couples Decide by Jackie Pilossoph for Chicago Tribune Media Group

It’s been almost 10 years and I still vividly remember how tormenting, difficult, and complicated it was for my ex and me to decide which path to take: stay together or get divorced? Since then, I hear the same dilemma from countless men and women, all who just want to be happy, but who face a monumental choice that will greatly affect the rest of their lives and the lives of their children.

So when I happened to be talking with a friend of mine, who told me she knows a therapist who offers “discernment counseling” – a process that helps couples decide whether or not to work things out or get divorced – my ears perked up. (Click here to read the rest of the article, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press.)

Like this article? Read my blog, “Did I do the Right Thing? Newly Separated Woman Offers Advice.”


Katz and Stefani


Vestor Capital




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Author: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling offers advice, inspiration and hugs. If you want a Cinderella story, be your own fairy godmother. You're the only one who can pick out that perfect glass slipper!

One Response to “Thinking About Divorce? Here’s Something That Might Help”

  1. Matt Ingham

    To date I’ve represented more than 500 clients in family court. In my opinion based on my experiences with my clients, ‘discernment counseling’ is a great idea. Choosing to ‘make the hard decision’ requires the spouse to make what is quite possibly the toughest decision of their life because choosing to end a marriage is the type of decision that will have life altering consequences.
    Matt Ingham


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