Why I am a Divorced Girl Smiling
When I got separated 9 years ago, I pretty much wanted to crawl into bed and stay there forever. To say I was depressed and scared is a major understatement.
With two kids, ages 3 and 5, I hadn’t worked in 5 years, and had zero self-confidence when it came to believing I could do anything other than put on Baby Einstein videos and change diapers. I had been very successful professionally in the pre-mom stages of my life, but that memory was distant, and when I looked in the mirror, I really didn’t like what I saw.
“I’m 41 years old, who’s going to want me?”
“I failed in marriage.”
“I am loser.”
“How am I going to support my family?”
“I’m going to be alone forever.”
Those were some of the things I was thinking. I felt like a middle-aged, frumpy, mentally messed up housewife with new financial problems.
That was rock bottom.
I can honestly say I’ve never been happier in my life. I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m a single mom, working longer hours than I ever have in my life. But, my happiness stems from newly found self worth, achievements I never thought I was capable of, peace and acceptance of the past, the best kids I could ever ask for, a career I am giddy about, and a man I truly love and adore.
In February of 2013, I launched Divorced Girl Smiling because I wanted to share my experiences and the lessons I learned in the years it took to get from rock bottom to Divorced Girl Smiling.
Written with honesty (even if it hurts) and vulnerability, my blog paints a very realistic picture of divorce. But, it’s also really funny at times, entertaining, and inspirational.
With blog posts that cover the entire divorce arena–the day he or she moves out, the divorce process, co-parenting issues, your kids, your ex, career choices, loneliness, fear, anger, dating, kissing, sex, and the first time you realize you’re going to be MORE than fine, reading Divorced Girl Smiling is like going to Starbucks with your best friend and talking about your divorce and your love life.
Divorced Girl Smiling isn’t just another divorce blog, it’s an honest, non-sugar-coated place to go to get real advice. And while you’re here, I’ll inspire you, make you laugh, and give you a big hug.
I’ll leave you with a really funny divorce memory I have. When I was first going through my divorce and feeling the worst about myself in every way, my then 4 year-old daughter walked into my bathroom just as I was getting out of the shower. She looked at my naked body and asked, “Mommy, why are your boobs so ugly?” Great. Just what I needed. Like I didn’t have enough self-esteem and bad body image issues. But, the point of this story is, if you don’t laugh, you’ll just cry. So, choose laughter!
I hope you enjoy Divorced Girl Smiling, and if you have stories you’d like to share or questions you’d like to ask, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. (Just hit the “contact” tab or email me at Divorcedgirlsmiling@gmail.com ) Please keep in mind that I do post questions I receive on my site, and then give my advice. However, I don’t use real names, and I change details to make it more anonymous.
Best wishes to you and remember–If you want a Cinderella story, be your own fairy godmother. You’re the only one who can pick out the perfect glass slipper!
The Divorced Girl Smiling
Jackie Pilossoph is the creator of her websites, Divorced Girl Smiling and Divorced Guy Grinning. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph is also a regular Huffington Post divorce blogger. Additionally, Pilossoph writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially” in Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press, and is also a features reporter for the media group. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University. She lives in Chicago with her family. Oh, and she’s divorced.