Relationship Advice: Who Needs Candy and Flowers on Valentine’s Day?

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

Relationship advice

I want to apologize upfront to those reading this who are going through a divorce and not dating anyone, who want to shout, “Jackie, this doesn’t apply to me at all!!” But, what I want to say to everyone is, it WILL at some point, and even if you are single right now, this is great relationship advice for anyone! 

Below is my Love Essentially column, published yesterday in Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press. Let me know what you think!

Who Needs Candy and Flower on Valentine’s Day? by Jackie Pilossoph

This might come as a surprise, but I’ve never been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, I love romantic gestures and the idea of giving someone you love a gift.

But, I think the holiday puts a lot of pressure on couples to make the day special, and if two people in a relationship have different expectations of what is going to happen on Valentine’s Day, they could have issues. In other words, if a woman thinks her guy is walking in the door with a dozen roses and he shows up with a nice card, look out!

Inequality on Valentine’s Day can cause feelings of disappointment, anger, sadness or even embarrassment (if he or she buys you an expensive gift and you do nothing).

My suggestion is, why not forget about material gifts this year and give your Valentine something that is 100 times more valuable? Here are some examples:

1. Instead of dinner in a crowded restaurant, make him or her an unforgettable meal at home. Cooking for someone signifies thoughtfulness and effort. By preparing food, you are showing that you care enough to take time out of your busy day to do something you think the person you love would enjoy. Being cooked for makes a person feel special, important and appreciated. And, I want to make this clear: sauce out of a jar on boiled spaghetti noodles actually achieves the same result as roasted bronzino prepared in a white wine reduction sauce with carmelized leeks and a beet salad.

2. Instead of Hershey’s Kisses, kiss her with your lips. Women love to kiss. It makes us feel sexy and young and loved. It also brings us back to the time when the relationship was fresh and new and exciting.

3. Instead of chocolates in a heart shaped box, give her your heart. How do you give someone your heart?  Click here to read the rest of the article, published yesterday in Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press!


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Jackie Pilossoph

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

One Response to “Relationship Advice: Who Needs Candy and Flowers on Valentine’s Day?”

  1. Mickey

    UGH!!! Valentine’s Day has never been anything but a great big commercial scam. I can’t stand it!!!

    Deep, resigned, sarcastic sigh…


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