Is Football Season Your Off-Season?

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author

 Some weeks and months, you and your guy are great, other times, your relationship is what you might call “challenging.” One month, the two of you are having wild sex all the time, the next, you’re bugging each other like never before.

One season that is particularly challenging for a lot of women is fall. Why? Two words. Football Season! That’s when a lot of men spend their Saturdays and Sundays curled up on the couch with their hand comfortably resting down their sweatpants, getting up only to get another beer or answer the door for the pizza delivery man.

This drives some women absolutely nuts! The nights of romantic dinners disappear, seeing a movie is out of the question, and even just snuggling up and talking isn’t an option. The only thing their guy wants to talk about is their favorite team’s chance of getting to the Super Bowl.

Being a “football season widow” myself, I have experienced several fall seasons of frustration and disappointment when my boyfriend, just like summer turns to fall, seemed to cool off, his priorities going from spending time with me, to spending time with Brian Urlacher, Eli Manning, Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger and all the other guys I simply can’t compete with.

But, as the years have passed, I’ve learned how to stay happy during football season, and it basically comes down to three things:

1.       Let him enjoy what he loves:  Guys work really hard at their jobs. Married or divorced, if they have kids, they are also trying to be a dad. Additionally, they have YOU, who we hope they are trying to keep happy. But, what about THEM? Aren’t guys allowed to have time to themselves to enjoy something they love? Isn’t it okay to let a guy sit around every now and again, un-showered, eyes glued to the TV for hours? Let him enjoy what he loves! Think of it this way. Wouldn’t you rather him sit around watching sports, than having another hobby, such as going to bars? Give him some time to himself to enjoy something simple. He will love you for it.


2.       Take advantage of your extra free time:  Read those novels you’ve been meaning to read, rent movies you’ve wanted to see, chick flicks that you know he wouldn’t be a fan of. Make plans with your girlfriends! Go shopping, go to the theater, have girls over for sangria, work out more! This is YOUR gift. Trust me, if the relationship is right, the separation will do wonders for both of you, and come February (right after the Super Bowl), he’ll love you more than ever. The best part is, you will love yourself more than ever, because you will have been productive and had a great fall season, doing fun things. On a side note, fall is great time for me, as a writer. I have so much free time, I start whipping out that next novel!



3.       Learn the game and join him! Do you even understand the game of football? Can you name the quarterbacks of each team? Do you know what a two-point conversion is? If not, you better learn! Just start watching a few games and ask questions. People love to explain football to other people. You’ll find it really enjoyable and interesting. By mid-season, you’ll get really excited about watching games, and voila! You can spend time with your guy AND enjoy the game he loves. Here’s a great plan: find a really, really yummy chili recipe, and then go over to his house and make it, along with all the trimmings. Make enough for him to have for a few days. If he was in love with you before, this will put him over the edge!


Remember, guys like women who are independent, who give them space, and who trust the relationship enough to give them freedom and breathing room. AND, by the way, guys LOVE girls in football jerseys!

So, what are you waiting for? Hut 1, hut 2, hike! Throw yourself a touchdown! Do these things, and your days of having an offseason will be behind you.


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    Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

    Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

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