Is He Second Marriage Material? 10 Questions To Ask Yourself

I’m pretty sure the divorce rate for second marriage is over 50%. In fact, some studies even claim second marriage failures as high as 70-80%.

 

So, if you’re considering second marriage, or even if you are just dating, with second marriage as a possibility someday, how do you make sure you end up in the 20% of couples who get the happily ever after? The answer is simple: MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON.

 

Here are 10 questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not he’s second marriage material:

 

        1. Are the two of you are alike? That means do you have similar likes, core values, and interests? Do you enjoy spending time together and do you like to do the same things? Do you view world issues the same. Are your values in raising your kids similar? The list goes on. The more alike you are, the better chance your marriage will work.

        2. Do You Trust Him? I mean really trust him? When things get a little rough, is he going to walk away? Do you also trust him with finances and other household decisions? Do you also trust that he will be loyal to you, i.e. not cheat?

 

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       3. Is He Your Best Friend? Can you talk to him about anything. Do you feel like there isn’t one thing you don’t feel comfortable discussing with him? Does he get you? Do you get him? Do you enjoy him? Does he enjoy you?

       4. Does he have a good relationship with his kids? If he doesn’t, that might be a red flag.

       5. Is He Thoughtful and Kind? Is he considerate? Does he do sweet things for you with no agenda? Does he treat others in a kind way?

      6. Do you want to take care of him and can he handle it? A woman who truly loves a man wants to take care of him. That is not possible unless the man is willing to let her. In other words, he has to be someone who isn’t afraid to show vulnerability and the need to be loved and cherished by his wife.

 

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       7. Does he really want the marriage? “Marry someone who loves you more than you love him,” my mom always used to say to me. Although I believe that both people should be madly in love with each other when getting married, there is a little truth to the fact that the guy really has to be over-the-top and completely committed to the relationship and the marriage. He has to really, really want it. You shouldn’t have to put pressure on him to get married. He should be the one pursuing it. He should adore you. You’ll be able to feel it if he does.

        8. Do the two of you have the same vision for your future? Everyone sort of has a retirement plan. Is that plan the same for the two of you? Think about it. This is the guy you are going to grow old with. Does he want to move to Arizona but you want to move to Florida when you are retired? That’s a problem. It’s worth discussing it.

        9. Is the sex is great? It’s important that the two of you are on the same page in bed. You might not agree, but sex is a form of communication. It connects couples on a different level. It fosters a closeness and a bond that is very important in a marriage lasting.

        10. Do his kisses take your breath away? Does this really need an explanation?

 

The thought of second marriage can be very scary to divorced men and women, and understandably so. After all, you’ve been through a long, heartbreaking breakup, followed by a legal battle that was most likely frustrating, expensive, infuriating, and scary. Why on earth would you want a second marriage?? Because, with the right person, marriage could be a totally different and better experience. In other words, he needs to be second marriage material.

Like this blog? Check out my article, “Should You listen to your heart or your gut?

 

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Author: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling offers advice, inspiration and hugs. If you want a Cinderella story, be your own fairy godmother. You're the only one who can pick out that perfect glass slipper!

6 Responses to “Is He Second Marriage Material? 10 Questions To Ask Yourself”

  1. Jason Silver

    Great list! Easier said than done obviously… One thing missing here is how both people define their relationship with money and how they want to use it.

    Reply
  2. Al

    So the answer to all the questions from this man is yes!!!! The kisses especially but beyond yes on all of them except one. I have erection problems. And that is a deal breaker.I don’t drink smoke do drugs . I make close to $200000. A year and like sports travel writing love poems and holding hands. Am I. Just a loser?!
    Oh and I am fit..in fact I was called the “complete package” and I would never believe it. I am humble and can be shy. My kidneys ache constantly with cystitis or something and I have ED.drugs help at times but not all the time. Do your rules apply even for the 50 year plus womanlooking for a man. I backed away from real love because I think she deserves natural sex from a man still able. I owed that to her in my love for her. I want her to be happy.. I am however destroyed as a man and a human.I lose .it hurts

    Reply
    • Jackie Pilossoph

      I feel sick that you feel that way. Ask any woman over 40 and she will tell you that sex is such a small part of a true, meaningful romantic relationship. And, sex is so much more than intercourse. I’ll take great kissing any day of the week! Have you ever considered going to therapy and talking about your mindset? You should. You are very much not alone. I think i read somewhere that 60% of men over 50 have a hard time maintaining an erection. You sound like a great guy! Beleive that!!

      Reply
  3. Lori

    I really like your site but air have to admit to being utterly frustrated at the overwhelming amount of grammatical errors in almost every article. I know it is cheaper to get content writers from foreign countries or whose first language isn’t English but please…for your sake and credibility, proof read before posting!

    Reply
    • Jackie Pilossoph

      OK…well just to be clear, I am writing all the content, so you can blame the overwhelming amount of grammatical errors on me, 100%. I’m doing my best with the time I have and hopefully I am helping others. That is my number one priority.

      Reply
      • Pamela

        Love your advice & site and didn’t notice any grammatical errors. I wasn’t looking for them! Keep doing your thing!!!

        Reply

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