When it comes to offering divorce and dating advice, the most common question I get asked is, “How do you meet normal guys/women?” People who are dating after divorce all constantly telling me how hard it is and how everyone who is on dating sites are losers and they can’t take it anymore. The ironic part is, the people who are saying this are really nice, normal, wonderful people! I really don’t get it. Then again, I have actually never done the dating site thing, so I can’t tell you my experiences.
I recently read an article by therapist and relationship coach, Sue De Santo, in which she explained that it is no coincidence when someone dates all the wrong people and just can’t meet anyone. On the contrary, it has to do with the person’s past, and the people they are choosing based on childhood experiences.
Here is my Love Essentially column, (published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press this week) where I interviewed De Santo to find out more about her “It’s Not You, It’s Me” theory and how you can improve your chances of finding love.
Finding True Love Is More In Your Control Than You Think
by Jackie Pilossoph for Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press
I’m serious when I say I have lost count of the number of both men and women who have expressed frustration and disappointment when it comes to dating and meeting the right person.
“There are no good guys out there,” “I have bad luck in relationships,” “It’s not meant to be that I meet someone,” “It’s so hard to meet available women.” These are things I hear day in and day out from people who seem completely normal and wonderful! I just don’t understand it. It’s baffling.
So, when I happened to see an article written by Chicago-based relationship coach and therapist, Sue De Santo called “Am I Not Meant To Be In A Relationship?” it sparked my interest, because I felt like she was offering answers. (Click here to read the rest of the article, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press.)
Like this article? Check out my article, “Why You Shouldn’t Lie About Your Age On Dating Websites and Apps.”